"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time."
- Sammy Hagar
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 10645 | The Bad Explainers | 96 | 8 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 10009 | Bananas Foster | 90 | 7 | 0.875 |
| 3 | 10070 | Aggressive Foreplay | 89 | 6 | 0.750 |
| 4 | 10072 | General Washingtons | 82 | 5 | 0.625 |
| 5 | 10190 | The Mules | 79 | 3 | 0.438 |
| 5 | Snowflakes and Cucks | 79 | 3 | 0.438 | |
| 7 | Your Mom's Incompetent Cabinet | 72 | 2 | 0.250 | |
| 8 | The Banality of Evel Knievel | 38 | 1 | 0.125 | |
| 9 | Tales From the Crypt with Your Host: Kellyanne Conway | 23 | 0 | 0.000 |
