QUIZ RECAP

For years, I've been coming down to the Promenade in Santa Monica.  For years, I've puzzled over the existence of an older dancing woman who has attracted crowds as she shimmies her way around a circle to an undecipherable foreign beat.  Were they watching out of jest?  Mere amusement?  Lack of better things to do on a Sunday evening?  There are numerous street performers of varying skill levels up and down the strip and yet none of them capture an audience's attention like this mysterious silver haired hot mess.

So, I decided to do a little research.  I googled "crazy dancing lady promenade santa monica" and lo and behold, I instantly had my answers.

Aside from the numerous YouTube videos posted of her gyrating her way around a gaggle of tourists, there is also a link to her official Instagram page.  Not her personal 'gram, but her PROFESSIONAL 'gram.  And here's where you need to start tightening the noose - she has 45.1k followers.  WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

Her name is Scherazad Falcon or as she so eloquently states on her page, "Internationally Known as the Premier Dancer of Third Street Promenade".

If you're thinking, "shit, man, this woman must be crazy" - guess what?  YOU'RE RIGHT.  Aside from all the Bernie Sanders posts (it's been a couple months now, time to let go of that fantasy Bern Bros) she posts notes (like she's Kim fucking Kardashian) about how she has been tormented by a FAKE 'gram and FAKE Youtube account that are apparently pretending to be her and profiting(?!?!?!) off of her likeness.  She has created a Bitmoji of herself.  She will give you an autographed picture for 5 bucks.  She has an impersonator (that she HATES and is offering 10,000 dollars if you can help her shut this clone down) in Las Vegas.  She will record a personalized message or dance for you to play at your wedding (for a fee).

But, she also thinks Donald Trump is a monster - so maybe Scherazad isn't all that bad after all.