The holidays are fast approaching. And with it, your wallet will be vastly decreasing in size. Why? Family. Friends. Those leeches that want you - the poor working man/woman - to provide them with gifts and "holiday cheer". How dare they? Who decided that this religious holiday - a birthday of some dude who got crucified - was suddenly the time for eggnog, reindeer and spending 80 bucks on an uncle you only see once a year? Strapped for cash? Already paying an arm and a leg and one of your ears for a plane ride home? I've got some ideas for you:
1. Rob a bank - it's as easy as it looks in the movies! And if you get caught you don't have to worry about buying anybody anything!
2. Rob a friend. They probably owed you money anyway.
3. Compete in King Trivia's Star Wars trivia challenge next weekend. Recruit a Wookiee for your team and you're guaranteed the prize money - besides, if you lose, that big walking shag carpet will just rip the winning team's arms off. Always let the Wookiee win.
4. Get a job. Lame. Boring. Boo.
5. Take advantage of your elders. Grandma, Opa, Aunt Edna - whomever - give them a little call on that iPhone (yes, it does make calls!) and inform them that their annual birthday card to you (yes, the one with the cash) got lost in the mail. They'll become frazzled, upset, say some vaguely racist things about the postman, and quickly assure you that another card (and more money) is on its way. Do this once every week.
6. Create a pyramid scheme. I mean, as long as you're at the top of that geometric shape you're fine!
7. Create a fake e-mail account and start sending people messages claiming to be a Royal Prince from Nigeria. I mean, someone has to fall for this shit if they're still pulling this trick years down the line, right? Find those suckers!
8. Use your skills and talents to create a product that people would like to - ugh, never mind. Too time consuming. Rob a bank!
|Game Rank||Team #||Team Name||Score||Teams Beaten||Team Beat Average|
|2||10889||The Tea Lizards||60||14||0.933|
|5||Touched by Della Reese's Cold Dead Finger||44||11||0.733|
|7||In It to Flynn It||37||9||0.600|
|9||Good King Whatshisface||34||6||0.433|
|9||10096||Double Downton Abbey||34||6||0.433|
|11||Barack Paper Scissors||30||5||0.333|
|13||11008||I Blame Obama||20||3||0.200|