QUIZ RECAP

Welcome, welcome, welcome, to last Tuesday tonight's Trivia Recap. I figured that everyone would have been snuggling up indoors with a blanket and some coffee in order to celebrate National Book Day. But I guess everyone decided to get it out of the way in the morning because we had a great crowd of brain athletes looking to eat and drink their way through a night of factoids both known and unknown. We had 5 teams of competitors tonight: Children? More Like Turpin!, One Oberon Please, Time Was a Construct, LGBT BBQ, and NFC YA FACE. But enough with the editor's forward, on to the novel!

Chapter 1: General Knowledge

Chapter 2: This Music Looks Good

Chapter 3: A Star Is Born

Chapter 4: Guess Who?

Chapter 5: Find the Connection

Chapter 6: Is Olympia A Country?

Chapter 7: The Real Housewives of King Trivia

Chapter 1: It was a dark and stormy night; torrential rains turgidly berated the confidence of the host as teams effaced the round's questions with unparalleled precision. The city that created Deep Dish Pizza (Chicago), the cold water challenge used to raise awareness of ALS (Ice Bucket Challenge), nothing could stop the expanding morass of public knowledge from dissolving the veiled expertise of the announcer.

Chapter 2: It's said a picture is worth a thousand words, but we only were given fifteen. Iconography of auditory engineers; was this a worthy foe or a capricious exercise of idolatry? Whether a straightforward mouth and lips (Rolling Stones) or Hieroglyphic-esque symbols (Prince, or The Artist Formerly Known as Prince), these bands couldn't fool the eyes of those who were watching.

Interlude 1: We'll get you back to the reading in just a moment, but first, can we take a moment to talk about our favorite bed in a box solution, Team Scores? Team Scores is a paradigm shifting approach to the outdated mattress industry, by taking out the middle man we can deliver scores directly to you at reduced prices. Whether you have a podium-size budget for our first place team (Children? More Like Turpin at 12 points), second place team (One Oberon Please at 10 points), or third place team (NFC YA FACE at 9 points), or whether you're interested in budget value-brands like fourth place (Time was a construct at 7 points) or fifth place (LGBT BBQ at 5 points), Team Scores has a bed for you. Now let's take you back to the reading.

Chapter 3: Astrology, Astronomy, Babies. Are they the ties that bind us together or the weights that pull us apart. Some called for the namesakes of bear constellations (Ursa Minor), some for the pre-genesis event leading to the Boomers (World War II) , and others still drew upon the myths of the great Talking Baby (Look Who's Talking).

Chapter 4: Guess Who? She came into this world in 1968 our first clue said, and it was upon this wording that the foundation of our trickery was built. An air-force pilot and security chief, she fought on behalf of oppressed peoples, but this was a tale not of history but of heroics. Leaping from the printed page to the silver screen, the strongest Avenger has made herself known as Captain Marvel.

Chapter 5: Find the Connection. Puns, puns, puns. The lowest form of humor some would lament. But is it not true that high art can be created from clever use of low-art mediums? Then let us not tally with the discrepancies between MTV award statue names (Moonman or Moonperson), let us not question the necessary fixings of Jordan Peele's comedy partner's name (Keegan-Michael Key), nor should we abstain from naming the wife of Black Sabbath's frontman (Sharon Osbourne). No, let us rejoice in the continuation of our MCU-tinged questions with the connection of types of stones. For who among you can deny the inherent pun-larity of Sharon Stone.

Interlude 2: Hey folks, I hope you've enjoyed tonight's reading, but we have just one more quick commercial break before we get back into the action. As you know it's the Trivia Recap Fundraising Week and we depend on the generous donations of listeners like you to keep this show funded. Whether you're donating 27 points (One Oberon Please), 26 points (Time Was a Construct), 25 points (LGBT BBQ and NFC YA FACE), or even just 23 points (Children? More Like Turpin), every little bit counts. So head on over to our donation page for more info and a chance to be entered into our giveaway!

Chapter 6: Is Olympia A Country? Do the Olympic Warriors fight first for the glory of their name, or that of their own nation? To answer such a tangled knot we must first know the homes of these medalists, and in that way, we honor them. Whether in water (Ian Thorpe / Australia) or on land (Usain Bolt / Jamaica), we are but one part of the same human race.

Chapter 7: The Real Housewives of King Trivia. All good things must come to an end. But not all ends are themselves good. I ask you:

What are the nine US cities/areas in Bravo's "Real Housewives" family of shows?

You may say New Jersey, you may say Orange County. I say go further! You give me New York City, you give m e Beverly Hills. I say go deeper! You cannot find Atlanta, you cannot find Dallas. And then I whisper, as we stand at the very edge of the world, look down into that dark abyss and you too will see...the Real Housewives of Potomac.

The end of the road left Children? More Like Turpin with zero points and the last place position; their failed Double or Nothing costing them what would have been an otherwise flawless finishing lap for the victory. For while Vancouver/B.C. is a Housewives show, it is Canadian-based, not US.

The End

Epilogue: Endgame

They did not heed my warnings. I warned them of the dangers of Tie-Breaking Questions, the horrors of chance utterly consuming the flesh of skilled memory and mental acuity. But no, they would not listen. They rebuked me, not just once, but twice!

Tied for first with 41 points was One Oberon Please and NFC YA FACE. And tied for third with 40 points was LGBT BBQ and Time Was a Construct. They brought this ruin upon themselves, but I took no satisfaction in wielding the executioner's ax.

Four teams, four guesses, four numbers.

Michigan Stadium, the largest college stadium in North America, seats how many people?

107,601. This was the number which no one could ever know. So it came down to relativity, to the degree of wrong-ness. Who among you was the least incorrect? And on this basis, you have been judged.

First Place: One Oberon Please

Second Place: NFC YA FACE

Third Place: LGBT BBQ

Fourth Place: Time was a construct

Fifth Place: Children? More Like Turpin

Let us pray that in this Tuesday's sequel, the end may come more naturally.