QUIZ RECAP
Trivia Night Recap: A Comedy of Errors and Brilliance
Welcome to the play-by-play of tonight’s trivia extravaganza, where seven teams squared off in a battle of wits, guts, and (thanks to the drinking round) probably some regrettable Instagram posts. Here’s how it all went down:
Round One: The Calm Before the Smugness
The night kicked off with Round One, where teams were still feeling each other out, testing their buzzers (even though there weren’t any), and scribbling like it was finals week. The Ontologists staked their claim on first place early, proving that knowing the exact year bubble wrap was invented is a surprisingly powerful flex.
Round Two: Revenge of the Nerds (Spoiler: It Didn’t Work)
The questions got harder, but The Ontologists weren’t here to mess around. They knew their Apple TV+ shows and made Tim Cook proud all at the same time.. Meanwhile, Balutefisk was overheard asking, “Is trivia always this hard, or is it just us?”
Round Three: The Ontologists’ Domination Station
At this point, The Ontologists were so far ahead they probably could’ve answered every question in interpretive dance and still kept their lead. The other teams were flailing, with answers that ranged from “that guy in that movie” to “is it, like, 7?” when asked how many continents there are. Spoiler: It’s seven.
Round Four: The Descent Into Madness
Despite valiant efforts from teams like Quizzy McGuire and Balutefisk, The Ontologists remained undefeated. By this point, whispers of a trivia monopoly were spreading. Rumor has it one member of Balutefisk muttered, “They’ve gotta be Googling,” which was promptly followed by a quizmaster yell: “NO PHONES!”
Round Five: The Ontologists Are Unstoppable
Cue Round Five, aka the round where even the host looked bored saying “The Ontologists” for the fifth time. Highlights from this round include a spectacular miss by team Fat Man, who guessed “Christopher Columbus” for a question about modern tech pioneers. Bold.
Drinking Round: Sweet, Boozy Redemption for Balutefisk!
The moment of reckoning arrived in the form of the drinking round: a pizza-themed trivia challenge. With beers in hand and dignity on the line, the teams fought valiantly, but this was Balutefisk’s moment. They devoured the competition, coming the closest to knowing the largest pizza ever made. Balutefisk claimed their victory—a tasting board! Hey, a win is a win.
Round Six: Back to Reality (and The Ontologists)
Freshly buzzed from the drinking round, the teams dove into Round Six. The victory high didn’t last for Balutefisk, though, as The Ontologists swooped back in with their trivia overlord energy. Rumor has it they answered one question before it was even finished being asked. Cheating? No. Witchcraft? Possibly.
Round Seven: The Inevitable Conclusion
By the final round, it was clear that The Ontologists weren’t just here to win—they were here to obliterate. They sealed their victory with style, sealing the deal about airports (or maybe it was about the mating habits of penguins. I stopped paying attention). The rest of the teams sat in stunned silence, sipping their beers and quietly plotting revenge for next week.
In conclusion, it was a night of laughs, learning, and one team’s rise to trivia immortality. Congrats to The Ontologists, and to everyone else: Better luck next time. Or better teammates. Either works.
Oh, and happy Thanksgiving, everyone! See you next week!
-James
