QUIZ RECAP

Trivia Recap: The 7 Rounds of Mayhem (plus booze)

Round One: Things kicked off like any normal night of bar trivia—with misplaced confidence and one team insisting, “We definitely learned that in third grade.” There’s no crying in trivia took an early lead, proving they know their General Knowledge better than Google on caffeine. KABAM! tried to challenge them, but unfortunately thought the capital of Canada was “C”.

Round Two: The subject? Movies and shows featuring Richard Kind. Yes, that guy. The character actor king. Somehow, There’s no crying in trivia flexed a suspiciously encyclopedic knowledge of Kind’s IMDb page. Meanwhile, Misfits tried to answer “Spin City” for every question and Ingenious Geniuses thought he was a guest judge on Top Chef. He wasn’t.

Round Three: A wild thematic twist! Questions about the future and people named May. Again, There’s no crying in trivia rose like a Terminator programmed for trivia dominance. When asked to name a famous “May,” they confidently said “Brian May” before the host even finished the question. Half the teams just wrote “May the Force be with you” and hoped for partial credit.

Round Four: Time for the Mystery Person Round, and all clues pointed to Janet Jackson. There’s no crying in trivia guessed it before anyone else even knew it was a woman. KABAM! guessed “Jermaine Dupri” three times in a row, which was… not totally unreasonable but entirely incorrect.

Round Five: Pet food brands were the secret thread in this “Find the Connection” round. There’s no crying in trivia continued their reign of terror like a pack of ravenous trivia wolves sniffing out Meow Mix. Ingenious Geniuses guessed “types of dirt” as the common link and were promptly put on cat-litter cleanup duty.

Drinking Round: Like a halftime show with fewer wardrobe malfunctions and more bourbon, the SmarterPhone challenge (Gone With the Wind edition) arrived. And KABAM! finally lived up to their name, crushing it with a passionate monologue about Scarlett O’Hara that made the bartender tear up. Victory at last! (Sort of.)

Round Six: Back to business. This time, a matching round between Wonders of the World and their countries. There’s no crying in trivia matched Petra with Jordan faster than Indiana Jones himself. Meanwhile, the Misfits matched “Pizza” to “Italy” and demanded points for “emotional accuracy.”

Round Seven: Final round. The theme? Fortune 500 companies in California. If trivia had a stock market, There’s no crying in trivia would’ve been Apple, Google, and In-N-Out all rolled into one. The others? More like RadioShack (R.I.P.).

Final Score: There’s no crying in trivia won every round except the one where alcohol made the rules. Their domination was so thorough we’re considering drug-testing them for performance-enhancing encyclopedias.

Until next time, may your guesses be lucky, your team names punny, and your trivia host sober-ish.

-James