The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
When Haircuttia, Goddess Of Haircuts, gave the finishing touches on the tenth head of hair in her row (she was in the middle of a marathon session of cutting ten different heads of hair as fast as she could), she quickly ran back down to the first person and finished up there as well. This was by far the most challenging Coiff Off she’d ever done: ten different customers, ten different hairstyles to be done in under ten minutes. And, they were all gorgons. That’s right. All ten subjects were direct descendants of Medusa. Each with eye masks to shield Hair (to her friends) from their stone-making gazes, these gorgon subjects sat in relative patience, which is saying something since gorgons aren’t exactly known for their waiting skills. Speeding up and down the line, Hair cut, trimmed, faded, poofed, pushed, pulled and sculpted all ten heads of snakes to ten different shapes of coiffed brilliance. But she wasn’t done. Just as quickly, some would say even more quickly, Hair yanked each eye mask from each gorgon seated in front of the one large mirror in the salon. “So would do y’all think?” she asked the hissing heads as she herself averted her eyes and took cover behind a box of moisturizer. All ten gorgons, before even being able to say: “It’s too poofy,” caught glimpses of themselves in the one long mirror that stretched the length of the salon and literally turned to stone. Here’s the point: Something like this happened about four times last night at trivia. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was a Pee-Wee off: The best impression of Pee-Wee Herman would win free drinks. Congratulations to Live Laugh Love for Hermaning Germaning and Laughinging. Free drinks.
In third place was Not Even Trying That Hard with 54 points. In second place was Fantastic Beasts And Where To Fax Them with 57 points. And in a remarkable push during the sixth round, Foxymoron took the night with 61 points. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Foxymoron | 61 | 8 | 1.000 | |
| 2 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 59 | 7 | 0.875 |
| 3 | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Fuck Them | 57 | 6 | 0.750 | |
| 4 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 54 | 5 | 0.625 | |
| 5 | 161857 | Wouldn’t it be nice…if we won trivia | 53 | 4 | 0.500 |
| 6 | Live Laugh Love | 50 | 3 | 0.375 | |
| 7 | God Only Knows (The Answers) | 44 | 1 | 0.188 | |
| 7 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 44 | 1 | 0.188 |
| 9 | 161852 | Stormy | 30 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Hoppaneus, God Of Leapfrogging, and Jumpaneus, God Of Being Leaped Over, came down the last bend of the One Millionth Annual Godly Leapfrog Race, they knew they had just enough time for a smoke break. “Got a butt?” asked Hop (to his friends) as they both stopped the hop (the standard term for taking a break during a leapfrog race). Quickly going into his neck pocket (a small zippered pouch sewn into his turtleneck), Jump (to his friends) produced two large cigarettes and ignited them with a small lighter out of his glasses. “My biggest problem,” said Jump as he exhaled a plume of nicotine into the ether, “is…my name should we Leapaneus or something like that. My whole thing is that I get leapt over and that’s not what my name implies.” “Do you feel like you’re getting…looked over?” asked Hop who promptly cackled. “This isn’t funny,” said Jump. “But this is!” came the answer, but not from Hop. Another duo, Bouncaneus (Bounce to his friends) and Vaultaneus (Vault to his friends) bounded past them with much laughter and swiftness. “See that?” said Jump, “now we lose!” “But in this competition, aren’t we all losers?” answered Hop as, sure enough, first place went to the next quickest duo and then second went to the next duo because they were still smoking and still smoking by the time they limped across at tenth place. Here’s the point: Don’t smoke. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was a Jesus-Off. The best impression of Jesus would win free drinks for their team. As predicted, When In Ramen came in with an impression of the Jesus from “The Big Lebowski.” I knew someone would, and some one did! Free drinks!
In third place was When In Ramen with 54 points. In second place was In First Place With 100 Points with 57 points. And pulling off a comeback I don’t think I’ve ever seen before was Scott’s Tots Again with 62 points. I literally don’t know how they did it! I don’t believe in magic, but they must have because they won! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Scott’s tots again | 62 | 7 | 1.000 | |
| 2 | 161300 | In First Place With 100 Points | 57 | 6 | 0.857 |
| 3 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 54 | 5 | 0.714 |
| 4 | Foxymoron | 52 | 4 | 0.571 | |
| 5 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 49 | 3 | 0.429 |
| 6 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 39 | 2 | 0.286 | |
| 7 | Walter’s Mondales | 28 | 1 | 0.143 | |
| 8 | Boogie Down | 23 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Colonesca, Goddess Of Rear Entrances, put the finishing touches on all five emergency exits located on the east side of Lord Murphaneous’s Arena Of Situations, she thought for sure Murph (to his friends) would approve. “They’re a bit…dour, are they not?” said Murph with a scoff, “I mean, do they ALL have to say EXIT?” Colon, to her friends, responded with: “Maybe it’ll look better if I demonstrate how they work,” and then promptly left through one, effectively leaving not only Murph’s arena but also the conversation and the job for she never again agreed to build doorways for Murph ever again. Here’s the point: No one during trivia agreed to exit the venue any earlier than they should have. Let’s talk.
When the Drinking Round is Doing An Impression Of Mick Jagger, look out: chairs are gonna get bumped, feeling hurt. But Live Laugh Love came out on top with a back-breaking chicken dance that saved the night.
In third place tonight was Diddy Or Didn’t He? with 83 points. Also with 83 (tie breaker) was Rob’s Angels. And dominating with 84 points. Come back next week for more King trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 84 | 11 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 83 | 9 | 0.818 |
| 2 | 160713 | P. Diddy? Or Didn’the? | 83 | 9 | 0.818 |
| 4 | Live Laugh Love | 82 | 8 | 0.727 | |
| 5 | The Mighty Caseys | 65 | 7 | 0.636 | |
| 6 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 64 | 5 | 0.455 | |
| 6 | Foxymorons | 64 | 5 | 0.455 | |
| 8 | 80852 | Nine Inch Ales | 61 | 4 | 0.364 |
| 9 | 160728 | Big Beautiful Btrivia | 55 | 3 | 0.273 |
| 10 | Last 3 Brain Cells | 44 | 2 | 0.182 | |
| 11 | 160729 | 100% certain with approximately a 99% margin of error | 35 | 1 | 0.091 |
| 12 | Superman’s Mustache | 30 | 0 | 0.000 |
