The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
When Repeleranus, God Of Mountain Descending, realized he had no more room in his pouch for all the bolts he planned on removing from Peak-Free Mountain on his way back down, he started to put them in his mouth. When he ran out of room there, he summoned his friend Tineraneus, God Of Rusty Metal, to help him out. Upon arriving in three seconds (as Gods do), Tin (to his friends) said: “What’s going on?” With a mouth full of bolts, Rep (to his friends) said: “I got nowhere to put these bolts and was wondering if you can cary some?” but because he couldn’t enunciate, it sounded like: “I fought snowmen in Humboldt and was worried about Carol Summers.” So Tin was all: “What?” but then didn’t wait for an answer before he teleported both of them to the ground (where all Gods belong) and said: “We done here?” and disappeared back to his cosmic metal scraping party from beyond, leaving Rep there by himself at the bottom of a mountain, only to start climbing to the top again. Here’s the point: Some of this kind of stuff sort of happened tonight at the Glendale Tap King Trivia Night. Let’s talk.
You know who Sean Wright is? The whole crowd at the Tap knows now, since it was his birthday. Tonight’s Drinking Round was a competition to see who could do the best Sean Wright impression. The winner? Not Sean Wright! An older guy pretending to be Sean in the future talking about time travel won and I knew that would happen. Free drinks.
Tied for third tonight, with a score of 45 points, were Ohio Returns and Pup ’n Suds. There is no better tie than one for third place! Ohio Returns took the prize for only being off on the number of rivets used in the Eiffel Tower by about two million. How did you win third tonight? In second place, with a score of 61 points, was Sean Wright’s team of When in Ramen. In first place, with 62 points, was Rob’s Angels. The only thing worse than missing first place by one point is not being the best at doing an impression of yourself! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 133687 | Rob’s Angels | 62 | 5 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 61 | 4 | 0.800 |
| 3 | 133682 | Pup 'n' Suds | 45 | 2 | 0.500 |
| 3 | 133683 | Ohio returns | 45 | 2 | 0.500 |
| 5 | 133688 | Triple Jam | 41 | 1 | 0.200 |
| 6 | Pure Honey | 31 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Spoonercus, God Of Utensils, lobbed his spork at Bill The Dragon, it was meant only as a warning shot. He had no intention to fell the fiery beast, especially in front of all those children. Brought to the Mound Of Mirth as a distraction by their schoolmaster, the kids were promised a show, not fight-to-the-death shenanigans that would surely scar them worse than Spoon’s (to his friends) spork did Bill. “Woa, easy, mate!” groaned Bill as he took the hit right in the flebscus (the anatomically correct name for a dragon’s thorax [have you ever tried to refer to a dragon’s flebscus as a thorax in front of that dragon? I wouldn’t]) and went down in a torrential cloud of dust and dirt, pelting the children with granite and sending the ones in front into the upper reaches of near-by trees. Thinking fast, Spoon dug deep into his cosmic pouch of fruity treats and jettisoned them to the children, each treat attached to a personalized spork for each kid. The dead dragon was soon forgotten as the children enjoyed their treats in relative wonder and joy. “You’re cleaning all this up,” the schoolmaster admonished Spoon. Here’s the point: Only a few things like this happened at the Glendale Tap tonight. Let’s talk.
The winner of the Drinking Round tonight was Post-Pink for doing an impression of Ron Burgundy that involved telling San Diego to go eff itself and that will win it for me anytime! Free drinks!
In third place tonight with a score of 33 points was Tava! In second with 44 points, the aforementioned Post-Pink. And taking the whole night with 58 points was Live Laugh Love! Come back next Wednesday and every Wednesday at 7:30 for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Live laugh love | 58 | 3 | 1.000 | |
| 2 | 133034 | Post-Pink | 44 | 2 | 0.667 |
| 3 | Tava | 33 | 1 | 0.333 | |
| 4 | The GT | 31 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Gromaximus, God Of Muscles, was about to do his one millionth rep for his lats, he lost count at nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and forty-three. “Damn,” said Gro (to his friends), “was that nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and thirty-three or forty-three?” Knowing only one guy would know, he summoned his friend Mathimax, God Of Numbers. Math (to his friends) was so good at numbers, he could determine exactly what number everyone living was currently on when counting. Like, simultaneously. For example: If some kid in Delaware was counting to a thousand, he knew exactly when he reached seven hundred, and, at the same time, could also detect exactly when the NASDAQ index got above thirteen thousand. He was so good at it, that you couldn’t talk to him. He was always thinking, calculating. He was constantly saying: “Not now.” But Gro knew that in a pinch his buddy would help him out with his number problem. Appearing out of a fog of integers and derivatives, Math was all: “Yeah, what’s up?” “Was I on nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and forty-three lat crunches or nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and thirty-three lat crunches?” “The first one,” answered Math, and then disappeared. Gro proceeded with his work out but then pulled a muscle at rep nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine. Math quickly came back, said: “What’s a lat crunch?” and quickly disappeared again. Here’s the point: You don’t have to worry about losing track of your team’s points at King Trivia Night at the Glendale Tap because the Quizmaster will take care of it for you! Let’s talk:
In honor of Round 2, tonight’s Drinking Round was a Stewie Griffin Off: Whoever could do the best Stewie Griffin won free drinks. I don’t know what makes for a good Stewie impression. I just know it shouldn’t include an Irish brogue. So the winner was Hefeweizguys.
In third place tonight was Team GT with 32 points. Taking second, When In Ramen with 61. And just nosing it out was Hefeweizguys with 62 points! Not to mention, THE TENSION! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 93847 | Hefeweizguys | 62 | 3 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 61 | 2 | 0.667 |
| 3 | Team GT | 32 | 1 | 0.333 | |
| 4 | Beans ln Toast | 14 | 0 | 0.000 |
