QUIZ RECAP

When Pamperius, God Of Babies, reached his twenty-first year, he still had the body of a six-month-old. That’s right. He never physically grew out of his six-month-old body, but had the mind and the charisma of a young adult man. So whenever anyone wanted to hang with Pamp (that’s what his friends [AKA babysitters] called him), they had to tend to his physical needs such as changing, bathing, feeding, and transport, but without all the verbal obligations one has to employ when spending time with an infant, such as saying “goo” and “gaa” and blowing wet raspberries. How many times in your life do you get to change a baby’s diaper whilst talking to it about the state of the prime interest rate or goat futures? Like, never, right? So when Pamp entered the Heavenly Baby Pageant he knew he was a sure win for the title. “Those other babies might have me beat on cuteness and fashion, but no way are they gonna win on the short answer and essay portions!” he exclaimed whilst having his butt wiped. “It’ll be a slaughter!” And a slaughter it was. None of the other babies could even formulate a thought when asked: “How would you help the drought situation in the Lower Estates?” Pamp cleaned up! Here’s the point: There was a six-month-old baby at The Glendale Tap last night and his name was Damian and he was good at trivia. Let’s talk.

The Drinking Round was called Who Can Do The Best Impression Of Damian? The winner? A twenty-nine-year-old woman saying “Gaa” whilst being carried by a man. Damian’s parents didn’t even try! Blasphemous!

In third place in trivia but first in the Drinking Round was We’re Just Guessin’ with 46 points. Taking second was Bear Down with 65 points. And destroying the night in much the same way Damian plans to destroy the world with the help of his father Satan was It’s All For You, Damian! with 75 points!

Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!