
The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
When Hoppaneus, God Of Leapfrogging, and Jumpaneus, God Of Being Leaped Over, came down the last bend of the One Millionth Annual Godly Leapfrog Race, they knew they had just enough time for a smoke break. “Got a butt?” asked Hop (to his friends) as they both stopped the hop (the standard term for taking a break during a leapfrog race). Quickly going into his neck pocket (a small zippered pouch sewn into his turtleneck), Jump (to his friends) produced two large cigarettes and ignited them with a small lighter out of his glasses. “My biggest problem,” said Jump as he exhaled a plume of nicotine into the ether, “is…my name should we Leapaneus or something like that. My whole thing is that I get leapt over and that’s not what my name implies.” “Do you feel like you’re getting…looked over?” asked Hop who promptly cackled. “This isn’t funny,” said Jump. “But this is!” came the answer, but not from Hop. Another duo, Bouncaneus (Bounce to his friends) and Vaultaneus (Vault to his friends) bounded past them with much laughter and swiftness. “See that?” said Jump, “now we lose!” “But in this competition, aren’t we all losers?” answered Hop as, sure enough, first place went to the next quickest duo and then second went to the next duo because they were still smoking and still smoking by the time they limped across at tenth place. Here’s the point: Don’t smoke. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was a Jesus-Off. The best impression of Jesus would win free drinks for their team. As predicted, When In Ramen came in with an impression of the Jesus from “The Big Lebowski.” I knew someone would, and some one did! Free drinks!
In third place was When In Ramen with 54 points. In second place was In First Place With 100 Points with 57 points. And pulling off a comeback I don’t think I’ve ever seen before was Scott’s Tots Again with 62 points. I literally don’t know how they did it! I don’t believe in magic, but they must have because they won! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!
Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
1 | Scott’s tots again | 62 | 7 | 1.000 | |
2 | 161300 | In First Place With 100 Points | 57 | 6 | 0.857 |
3 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 54 | 5 | 0.714 |
4 | Foxymoron | 52 | 4 | 0.571 | |
5 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 49 | 3 | 0.429 |
6 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 39 | 2 | 0.286 | |
7 | Walter’s Mondales | 28 | 1 | 0.143 | |
8 | Boogie Down | 23 | 0 | 0.000 |
When Colonesca, Goddess Of Rear Entrances, put the finishing touches on all five emergency exits located on the east side of Lord Murphaneous’s Arena Of Situations, she thought for sure Murph (to his friends) would approve. “They’re a bit…dour, are they not?” said Murph with a scoff, “I mean, do they ALL have to say EXIT?” Colon, to her friends, responded with: “Maybe it’ll look better if I demonstrate how they work,” and then promptly left through one, effectively leaving not only Murph’s arena but also the conversation and the job for she never again agreed to build doorways for Murph ever again. Here’s the point: No one during trivia agreed to exit the venue any earlier than they should have. Let’s talk.
When the Drinking Round is Doing An Impression Of Mick Jagger, look out: chairs are gonna get bumped, feeling hurt. But Live Laugh Love came out on top with a back-breaking chicken dance that saved the night.
In third place tonight was Diddy Or Didn’t He? with 83 points. Also with 83 (tie breaker) was Rob’s Angels. And dominating with 84 points. Come back next week for more King trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
1 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 84 | 11 | 1.000 |
2 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 83 | 9 | 0.818 |
2 | 160713 | P. Diddy? Or Didn’the? | 83 | 9 | 0.818 |
4 | Live Laugh Love | 82 | 8 | 0.727 | |
5 | The Mighty Caseys | 65 | 7 | 0.636 | |
6 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 64 | 5 | 0.455 | |
6 | Foxymorons | 64 | 5 | 0.455 | |
8 | 80852 | Nine Inch Ales | 61 | 4 | 0.364 |
9 | 160728 | Big Beautiful Btrivia | 55 | 3 | 0.273 |
10 | Last 3 Brain Cells | 44 | 2 | 0.182 | |
11 | 160729 | 100% certain with approximately a 99% margin of error | 35 | 1 | 0.091 |
12 | Superman’s Mustache | 30 | 0 | 0.000 |
When Scamanea, Goddess Of Scams, finished up her last scam of the day (selling her one millionth worthless stone pendant to an entire family of worshippers), she was beat. “There’s actually,” said Scam (to her friends) “a point where I can’t lie anymore.” “I hardly believe that!” boomed a voice on high (yes, even higher). The voice belonged to Deanna, Goddess of District Attorneys. “Look, Scam,” said Dee (to her friends), “I’ve been looking the other way for a couple million years now and I’m not sure I can anymore. I haven’t had a good prosecution in about five million years and I think I gotta put you under arrest.” Scam looked down at her work for that day (thirty or forty thousand scams she pulled off whilst listening to her favorite podcast “Bilk ‘Em Good”), sighed a little bit and said: “Okay, I’ll go.” There was a pause, after which Dee said: “Oh, uh, just like that? You agree to come along right now?” “Well, sure, I don’t think I have that many options.” Taken aback by her quick amenability, Dee said: “Well, I don’t have the manpower and the cuffs to take you in right now—“ “THEN I OUTTIE!” Scam quickly yelled and shot into the next solar system while yelling back: “When you get an opportunity to take someone in, you take it!” Scam would be chased by cosmic law enforcement for the next million years, prompting such headlines as “SCAM ON THE LAM!” Here’s the point: This same exact scene played out word for word last night at the Glendale Tap. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was fraught with several impression of characters from “The Office” I judged them by the writing and nothing else and because of that Bimbos won. They got free beers and the bar got free entertainment.
In third place was Rob’s Angels with 61 points. In a first place tie-breaker, Team Xtreme took second with 63 points, right behind first placers When In Ramen with 63 points. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
1 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 63 | 11 | 0.846 |
1 | Team Xtreme | 63 | 11 | 0.846 | |
3 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 61 | 10 | 0.833 |
4 | 160189 | Boogie Down | 54 | 9 | 0.750 |
5 | slightly unemployed | 53 | 8 | 0.615 | |
5 | 160180 | While My Qatar Jet He Keeps | 53 | 8 | 0.615 |
7 | Live Laugh Love | 48 | 7 | 0.538 | |
8 | Walter’s Chronkites | 46 | 6 | 0.462 | |
9 | Foxymoron | 41 | 5 | 0.385 | |
10 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 32 | 4 | 0.308 | |
11 | win, place, show | 30 | 3 | 0.231 | |
12 | Bimbos | 29 | 2 | 0.154 | |
13 | 160186 | Tired Elder Millenials | 21 | 1 | 0.077 |
14 | 160187 | The team the only team the team we all need the team nobody is expecting the team we all can root for THE TEAM | 19 | 0 | 0.000 |