QUIZ RECAP

When Hydrophenia, Goddess Of Moisture, said: "Oh, nertz," it was because she was on her last sponge. That’s not a euphemism for something untoward; she was literally down to her one remaining sponge whilst cleaning the Kraken’s jacuzzi. “You finished yet?” asked the Kraken from his massage table. “You know how clean I like it.” Hydrophenia had lost a bet with Glatticus, God Of Gambling, that she could beat him at a spoons contest. Not playing the spoons; making them. Glatticus managed to get five thousand spoons done in just under three seconds, and Hydrophenia managed only four thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine. “It was embarrassing,” said the kingdom. Like, collectively. All together, they said it in unison: “It was embarrassing.” So now, she had to clean the Kraken’s stuff. But she would get back at him by putting a newly invented acidic astringent called Horse Breath on the porcelain of the Kraken’s bidet which only goes active once all light has been cut off from it. So, any day now, the entire kingdom wouldl hear an entirely new pitch of screaming from the Kraken once he needed to take care of his more posterior areas. Point is: No such bidets were present at The Glendale Tap Wednesday night. Let’s talk.

Urethra Franklin took the drinking round with a rendition of “Chocolate Rain” that the entire bar assured me was a real song. I’m sure it is. It sounds like something Prince almost wrote.

In third place tonight was the aforementioned Urethra Franklin with 53 points. In second was Jazz Cats with 55. And destroying the room with 67 points was Macho Taco Talk!

Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!