QUIZ RECAP

When Hempaneus, God Of Pot, looked up from his squatted position to find Buckaneus, God Of Rodeos, standing before him, he knew it was time to put the hoe down and go to a hoedown, KNOW’M SAYN’?  Before he could put on his pants, Hemp (to his friends) and Buck (to his friends) warped to Cloud Ranch for the One Millionth Annual Hoedown Of The Gods, a robust affair offering the best in godlike competitions, such as: The Cosmic Dunk Tank, which featured a frightened demon perched on the dunk bench dangling precariously above not a vat of water but rather an infinite drop into literal outer space as god after god chucked stars and moons at the target to hopefully send him into the abyss; The Armor Sack Race, which boasted pairs of gods each with one leg out of and one leg in huge metallic bags of metal, limp-racing down a million mile path…and then back; and the Bogging For Planets Contest, in which gods stuck their universe-sized heads into a large cistern of moons from alpha centauri and try to come up with as many in their mouths as possible. Upon arriving, the crowd went silent as Hemp and Buck sauntered to the fried dough booth and carbed up before their attempt at Mountain Hurling. This sounds like a contest of who can throw a mountain the farthest, but no! It’s a contest to see who can barf a mountain the farthest. Contestants had to quickly eat a mountain, and then projectile vomit that mountain across the universe for points. And Buck and Hemp knew nothing would induce vomiting better than three or four bites of Carberea’s (Carb to her fiends) fried dough. Minutes later, all doughed up, Hemp and Buck tucked into an alp and a volcano respectively and chewed til their infinite stomachs made pre-launch noises. Then, like cannons from Zeus’s party bus, they both hurled their not-yet-digested mountains into the air, the sky, the universe, where both land masses immediately fused together into one big asteroid and plummeted right back down onto the Hoedown, blowing everyone to bits except Hemp and Buck who knew what was going to happen and warped back to Hemp’s garden. “Looks like we won’t have to do that again,” they both said at the same time. Here’s the point: Something like this kinda happened at The Glendale Tap on King Trivia night when the first place team scored what they scored. Let’s talk:

The Drinking Round was gonna be a competition to see who could do the best impression of James Bond, but there was a baby in the bar and instead it became a baby off. The two-player team Double Crocs took the win by burping each other. And wearing crocs. Free beers.

In third place with a score of 52 points was the aforementioned Double Crocs. In second with 58 was Rob’s Angels. And destroying the night with 75,000 points was Post Pink! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun (and maybe another baby) at The Glendale Tap!