QUIZ RECAP

When Landaneus, God Of Sand, finished his one millionth sand castle in five minutes at the Two Hundred Millionth Annual Godly Sand Castle Contest held every year at Cosmic Shores, he thought he was a shoo-in for the win. “Who else can do it like that?” asked Land (to his friends). “Maybe…ME?!” came the response from on high. Deep from a cloud, Sculptaneus, God Of Sculpture, plummeted to Land’s feet and said: “I’ll whip up one right now—just one—that will win this entire contest!” “But” was all Land could get out before Sculpt (to his friends), using only his eyes and the swivel of his neck, brought forth a sandy storm that immediately covered approximately seven thousand nine hundred and forty-eight square feet of beach. “I’m just getting started!” announced Sculpt, who truly was just beginning, for this five-second storm was but a foundation dig for what followed: a luxurious, sprawling, four-story mansion replete with moat, helipad and servants quarters. This all took no longer than twenty seconds. When finished, the crowd erupted in cacophonous applause and waited for the judges’ decisions. But one look at their table revealed the judges were missing. Well, not quite missing. Because they had moved—each of them—into the sand mansion Sculpt had just built. “We live here now,” said the judges. Land shouted into the echoing palace: “You guys gonna tell us who won?” The judges were never seen again, lost to the posh benefits of the Literal Sand Castle. “Doesn’t seem fair they get to live in such a nice place,” said Land. “Only til high tide,” said Sculpt. Here’s the point: trivia night at The Glendale Tap tonight was exactly like this! Let’s talk:

The Drinking Round was a rousing SNL-off replete with impressions of “Cowbell,” the weird Bill Hader guy (don’t know his name), and Matt Foley. Trivia Besties took the win with the Foley impression. It’s the belt adjusting you gotta get just right. Congrats!

In third place was Matt Moscato with 57 points. In second was the aforementioned Trivia Besties with 67. And dominating the night for the two hundredth time was When In Ramen with an unacceptable 86 points! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!