Today's Recap will be presented in the form of a Menu on stage. The role of the waiter will be played by John Cleese. The role of the patron will be played by James Stewart. Our scene opens in the quaint
confines of the Lion & Crown Public House in Allen, Texas...
A PATRON WALKS IN. A WAITER COMES TO GREET HIM.
WAITER: Greetings, sir. Welcome to the L and C. That is, the Lion and Crown. Hah ha. We call it the L and C as sort of, sort of an abbreviation. Well, the owner doesn't mind and it's rather sort of a short hand so that, um... So that we don't all get wrapped up in the minutia of talking about the pub. Which is to say, it's alright to talk about the pub. Nothing wrong with talking about the pub. It's just that
most customers don't come in to talk about the pub. They come in for food and drink. Rather than talk about the pub. Because, um, brevity is the soul, etcetera, etcetera. Eh wot?
PATRON: Waahl, I, I, I'd like to see a menu, please.
THE WAITER CLAPS HIS HANDS AND A GIGANTIC MENU DESCENDS FROM THE RAFTERS. THE PRINT IS LARGE ENOUGH FOR THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE TO READ IT:
Pickles on a Plate
Blood, Bath & Beyond (+ IFFY!)
Int'l House of Bad Decisions
PATRON PUTS ON HIS EYE GLASSES AND SCANS THE MENU.
PATRON: Ummm, do, do, do you have anything like a shepard's pie or some fish and chips?
THE MENU ASCENDS QUICKLY BACK UP INTO THE RAFTERS. THE WAITER STIFFENS SUDDENLY, HIS BODY GOING
COMPLETELY RIGID. HE SMILES A FORCED SMILE.
WAITER: Let me see what chef can do. I'll be right back.
HE LIFTS HIS NOSE IN THE AIR IN A HAUGHTY MANNER, SPINS ON HIS HEEL TOWARDS THE KITCHEN AND MUTTERS.
WAITER: The nerve of some people.