By: Mary Gillett On: February 18, 2019 In: King Trivia Cares, Season 9 League Play Comments: 0

The Season 9 Tournament of Champions was a night to remember! And for those of you who couldn’t be there or can’t remember due to exorbitant enjoyment of libations, then allow me – your very own King Trivia The Trivia King – to fill you in on the details.

The evening started as many do – friends gathered, rivals plotted, and spectators spectated. After last year’s debacle due to PricewaterhouseCooper’s miscalculations, we opted to let a different firm protect the question set this year. Our first thought was Jerry Media, but they were unavailable (something about putting out a Fyre). We turned to a new company in Rus- er, um… Eastern Europe to help us out. Quizmaster David Gallic (Gaelic?) was eager to receive the questions and get this show on the road.

The first round of General Knowledge brought about 5 successful Double or Nothings. Right out of the gate, the other 69 (nice) teams knew they had to watch out for Indifferent Penguins, Team of Enchantment, The Four Eyes Quartet, Flying Chanclas and Eat Me, I’m a Danish.

Things I learned in Round 1: San Bernardino is the largest county in the United States. Apparently, Alaska has boroughs because they think they’re better than the rest of us lower 48.

Between Rounds 1 and 2, I took a moment to mingle with my trivia subjects and I met a couple of the spectator/supporters for Trivia Newton-John. They informed me I should join them in getting Physical. I informed them the only workout I do is lifting pints.

Round 2 was one for the gamers – a truly rare breed within the trivia community (yeah, right). Care to give it a go?

Things I learned from Round 2: Little Britain has a video game. Things I also learned from Round 2: Little Britain is a TV series, apparently. Yes, that last picture (number 8) is not a video game version of Jackass or Inside Amy Schumer (though if it were the latter, I’d be worried about exactly what was inside Amy Schumer). It is Little Britain: The Video Game.

After Round 2, only The Four Eyes Quartet was in first place. Would they be able to maintain first place? Read on to find out.

I mingled more with my people. I worried that teams with similarly-themed names would start to form rivalries: Penis Riot vs Dick City: Population Wieners, Bruce Jennertalia vs Big Willie Style.

To ease the tension, I picked random teams to answer bonus questions for swag prizes: shirts, bottle openers, koozies. It seemed to appease the crowd.

Round 3 was titled “Oh, the Horror!” and boy, was it scary. Fear of clowns? Check. Michael Myers? Check. More cowbell? A terrifying check.

Things I learned from Round 3: Maneater is a song by Hall & Oates, while Manhunter was the cinematic debut of Hannibal Lecter. Be careful team Eat Me, I’m a Danish – Hannibal just might.

The Guess Who round did a nice job of shaking up the rankings. Jazz Hands, Swedish Fish Oreos, Paddington Kills, We Got Nothing, and Crippling Autism all ranked within 7 points of first place. How would you have done with this “excellent” Round 4?

Things I learned from Round 4: Mr. Burns had an incestuous affair with his cousin, and one of the TOC teams seemed very excited by that idea… … …

Moving on!

Round 5 brought about another dramatic change to the rankings. After a number of successful Double or Nothings, the top 5 teams were Eat Me, I’m a Danish, Indifferent Penguins, Jazz Hands, Swedish Fish Oreos, and Paddington Kills. But Secular Healing, Because Jeopardy Won’t Let Us Drink, and Westeros Baptist Church were not far behind.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that 25th place would also be taking home a prize from the Tournament of Champions. As a King, I like to not only reward those subjects who succeed above and beyond the crowd, but also those who wallow comfortably in the middle – achieving just enough to be recognized but not enough to be given tons of money.

Things I learned from Round 5: Some teams get very excited when you start asking questions about the world of fabrics.

Before we moved on to Round 6, it was time to crown a Spirit Award champion. Throughout the night, three teams had proven themselves worthy of such a title. Two-time Spirit Award Winners Our Combined IQ Is… were there to defend their title, but Trivia Newton-John and Yassss Queens were hungry for the win.

The crowds cheered, they stomped their feet, they were hooting and hollering for their favorite team. In the end, the Yassssies had spoken and the Yassss Queens would take the throne from Our Combined IQ Is. The former Spirit Award champions graciously conceded their (figurative) crowns to the Queens.

Round 6 was a dreaded or pleasing sports round (depending on your level of sports nerdery). Many successful Double or Nothings meant that the rankings didn’t shift too much, and teams remembered to bring their sports fanatic.

Things I learned from Round 6: Everything. The only trophy I recognize is the Participation Trophy I stole from a middle schooler last week.

Care to test your trophy knowledge?

Well, it was a long night, but we finally made it to Round 7 – the last chance for teams to find fame and glory. The question asked of them?

What are the 10 countries with the most casinos operating legally?

To no one’s surprise, it was a tough round. But this is the Tournament of Champions. The winning teams have to earn that prize money! My kingdom wasn’t built on charity, but rather the blood, sweat, and tears of trivia players (and beer – it was definitely built on beer).

Things I learned from Round 7: Latvia is a country and the Latvian people like to gamble.

Now’s a good time to give a shout out to the DJ, Mix Master Mark (I have no idea if he uses Mix Master as his moniker, but I’m sticking to it). Mix Master Mark kept us all dancing and singing along to hits from all eras. From rock, to swing, to every parent’s 2018 nightmare, “Baby Shark”.

Kudos to you, Mix Master Mark.

And before we wrap this up, thank you to Cal State LA for hosting in the beautiful Golden Eagle Ballroom. A big thanks to all the Quizmasters who worked the event (and all those that couldn’t). Thank you to the office staff at King Trivia who keep the dream of drinking and answering questions alive. A HUGE thank you to all of the King Trivia players who come back week after week to put their pride on the line. And thank you to Josh L. – though you lack the beard and massive beer belly, you are the true King of King Trivia.

And finally, the final rankings of the Season 9 TOC:

First Place: Eat Me, I’m a Danish

Second Place: Indifferent Penguins

Third Place: Team of Enchantment

Fourth Place: Swedish Fish Oreos

Fifth Place: Jazz Hands

Twenty-Fifth Place: Jessica’s Team

Until next year, my loyal trivia-nuts, this is your King – forever and always at your service. And now, I’m off to get a drink.


The King




1 Eat Me, I’m a Danish 73
2 Indifferent Penguins 70
3 Team of Enchantment 65
4 Swedish Fish Oreos 60
5 Jazz Hands 59
6 We Got Nothing 58
7 Secular Healing 55
8 Because Jeopardy Wont Let Us Drink 55
9 Great Minds Drink Alike 55
10 Those People 55
11 Bakshi Boys 54
12 Bruce Jennertalia 53
13 Paddington Kills 53
14 The Mighty Baanchods 52
15 Like Winter, I’m Coming 50
16 The Four Eyes Quartet 49
17 Westeros Baptist Church 48
18 The High Tops 46
19 Mr. No Poster Shop 46
20 Crippling Autism 44
21 Big Mouth Billy Bass 44
22 Stats 400 44
23 Group Blind Date 44
24 Jessica’s Team 43
25 900 Dollarydoo$ 43
26 HRL Space Cadets 43
27 Streets of Rage 42
28 2 Lego 2 Movie 42
29 Dick City, Population Weiners 41
30 The Pen-Ultimates 40
31 Hubris + 1 40
32 Da Bears 40
33 Highway Stars 40
34 Flying Chanclas 39
35 The Bean Counters 39
36 How Bout Them Bruins 39
37 The Test Tickles 39
38 Concentration Champs 38
39 There’s Always Next Tournament 38
40 Gary’s Olde Towne Tavern 38
41 The Borg 38
42 Sunday Brunch 38
43 Outvoted on #3 37
44 Ask My Balls 37
45 Pasadena Peeps 36
46 Whiskey Quizness 36
47 Black Dragon Society 35
48 Hodge Podge 35
49 Mr Bottomley’s Jacket 34
50 Our Combined IQ Is… 34
51 Six Days Sober 32
52 The Spanish Inquizition 32
53 9/8 Central 31
54 Zach Attack 31
55 Da Nile 30
56 The Nightman Cometh 30
57 Dil-Don’ts 30
58 Trivia Newton John 30
59 Spare Parts 29
60 Why Do You Ask Two Dogs 29
61 Fighting Mongooses, That’s a CooL Team Name. 28
62 Big Willie Style 28
63 El Guapo and a Plethora of Sweaters 28
64 Penis Riot 27
65 Area 51 25
66 Gazpacho 24
67 SNAFU Worldwide 23
68 Yaasss Queens 22
69 Knobheads 22
70 Tequila Mockingbirds 18
71 Short Handed 18
72 Awesome Sauced 17
73 Blumpkin Spice Latte 17
74 TILF 12