Barney's Beanery - Burbank

250 N. 1st St.
Burbank CA 91502
(818) 524-2912
  • PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 9:00pm



Wed May 24 2017
| by Quizmaster Christopher Handschuch

There's really no way to sugarcoat it - tonight was pretty crazy*

Brad Pitt played trivia.

But Brad Pitt had a little bit of trouble.

As I announce (and other Quizmasters, like me) at every game, you cannot have your phone out while the round is in play.  I even go so far as to tell teams to remove their phones from the table so as not to create any unnecessary suspicion from their competitors.  Well, Brad Pitt clearly does not listen to the rules.

Around Round 3, a team came over to say that Brad Pitt was on his phone.  Now Brad Pitt had not yet turned in his answer sheet so this was going to be a problem.  But I have to treat all trivia teams equally and there is no exception - not even for movie stars who hang out with George Clooney.

"Excuse me, Brad Pitt", I say, trying to act cool. "You're on your phone."

"Oh.  Yeah.  Sorry."

"Unfortunately, I'm going to have to give you zero points for this round."

Brad Pitt looks dumbfounded.

"But I was just texting my kids.  There are a lot of them."

I sigh.  Trivia players who get caught with cellphones always have excuses.  Brad Pitt was giving me excuses.

"You could have waited until after you turned your answers in," I say, gaining back my confidence.  "But unfortunately - "

"This is so not fair."

Brad Pitt thinks I'm being unfair.

"Brad Pitt," I begin. "It's fair to the other teams who haven't been using their phone.  If you had just turned in your answer sheet, this wouldn't be a problem.  But now people are going to think you're a cheater."

Brad Pitt freezes up.

"Are people saying I'm a cheater?"

He's getting loud.

"Brad Pitt, all I meant was that - "

Suddenly, Brad Pitt is rising up from the table.  I'm about to get in a fight with Tyler Durden.

"I'm not a cheater!" he screams.

All eyes are now on Brad Pitt.

"I didn't cheat on Jennifer with Angelina!  Why does everyone always say that about me?  That was years ago!  Let it go!  It didn't work out!  We're just FRIENDS!"

Suddenly, everyone laughs.  Brad Pitt has made an unintentional pun about his ex girlfriend's popular sitcom.  At that moment, a server has arrived with Brad Pitt's food in a to-go container.  She doesn't know if she should approach so she hangs back, waiting.  We're all waiting.

Brad Pitt looks around, surveying each and every one of us.  He's upset.  I try to calm the situation.

"Brad Pitt, how about we just skip this round and then we can - "

But Brad Pitt isn't listening to me.  He's looking at the server now.  The girl standing there with his to-go food.

And then he screams:

"Whats in the box?"

Everyone laughs.  Brad Pitt realizes he's made a sly reference to the popular movie Seven.  A movie he starred in.  Alongside Gwyneth Paltrow's head.  He sits down, ashamed.  He takes the box and the zero points.  Brad Pitt finishes second to last tonight.

He does not pull his phone out again.


*none of this is true

Game Rank Team # Team Name Score Teams Beaten Team Beat Average
1 10493 2 Camels, 1 Hump 67 8 1.000
2 Lilo and Bitch 66 7 0.875
3 10829 Baby Groot's Got Wood 59 6 0.750
4 10889 The Tea Lizards 52 5 0.625
5 11355 Low key thic 42 4 0.500
6 Flying Elvis 32 3 0.375
7 Beers 4 Fears 26 1 0.188
7 Batman and Batgirl 26 1 0.188
9 The Pope Mobile's Lost Left Wheel 20 0 0.000