Due to the noir-ish mood that permeated Kilarney’s this Tuesday night, Quizmaster Lou will deliver his recap in the style of Jack Webb, ala Dragnet…
DUM-DE-DUM DUM. DUM-DE-DUM DUM DUMMMMMM…
“Tuesday night. Seven-oh-three PM. Kilarney’s Live Irish Pub was about to have a King Trivia Pub Quiz. That’s where I come in. My name’s Lou. I’m a Quizmaster.”
INT. KILARNEY’S – NIGHT
PATRONS SITTING AROUND EATING AND DRINKING. KING TRIVIA QUIZ BOOKLETS AND PENS ARE ON THE TABLES OF SEVERAL GROUPS.
“After getting the PA set up and the new teams registered, I launched into round one, the General Knowledge round. It was pretty general. Most first rounds are. It just makes my job harder. I was looking for a winner…”
SHOT OF BEERS BEING SERVED.
“Round two got interesting. The Poonswagglers took a tentative lead. It also provided an opportunity for me to crack a joke or two about Asian celebrities. I thought calling Jackie Chan the Gene Kelly of Hong Kong action flicks was clever, or mentioning the internet memes of the Dali lama as a handgun instructor would break the ice a little. But all I got were crickets…”
SHOT OF THE CROWD, SILENT, MOUTHS CLOSED.
“The night proceeded as they always do when there’s a trivia quiz. The Quizmaster asks the questions and the teams submit their answers. What makes it click is the participation. Funniest team name goes to ‘What?!? Like the backseat of a Volkswagen?’ They were getting more laughs than I was.”
SHOT OF THE CROWD LAUGHING.
“Although Ship It! and the Divorcee’s were chasing the lead as fast they could, it was the Poonswagglers who distanced themselves from the pack and ran all the way to the finish line first. It was always the Poonswagglers.”
SHOT OF THE POONSWAGGLERS HOLDING UP THEIR PRIZE CARDS AND SMILING AS A FLASH CAMERA GOES OFF.
“The lure of winning pub credit just for the useless knowledge that may be floating around in your head, loosened up by a few drinks has long been the temptation of the pub quiz. There are a million stories like this one in the big city. This has been one of them.”
ROLL CREDITS. THE FOLLOWING SUPERIMPOSED:
The Poonswagglers are now serving two consecutive sentences at Kilarney’s as winners.
Ship It! went home to his wife and kid to explain why he had won second place without them.
The Divorcee’s stayed and played darts afterwards.
The Hogs had a great time despite too failed many Double-or-Nothings.
The Tuesday Group are plotting a comeback.
IFFY! kvetched about the questions.
Kilarney’s, located right behind JC Penny there at Fairview Town Center, is a terrific place for eats, drinks and thinks… Particularly on Tuesdays when the King Trivia Pub Quiz starts at 7:30pm! Quizmaster Lou can now personally vouch for the deliciousness of their flatbread, pepperoni pizza, which was scarfed with gusto while grading quizzes between rounds! Crusty, crunchy crust… Zesty sauce… Quality pepperoni oozing with juice served piping hot and succulent! Nummy, num, num!
But, enough about food! Returning for their second win in a row, The Allcoballics established themselves as resident champions with another first place win. IFFY! snatched second place away from newbies, The Poonswagglers, who double-or-nothinged in the last round and fumbled. Honorable Mention goes to The Hogs, who lost her team early on, but stayed on till the finish despite overwhelming odds.
Our Round Two Visual Round was particularly challenging this week. Apparently, not everyone spent their time acquiring intimate knowledge of cartoon villains in front of the TV on Saturday mornings the way Quizmaster Lou did when he was a boy. But even this old dog was perplexed by some the new fangled anime and video versions of animated bad guy teams. Nevertheless, a classic is a classic and Boris & Natasha are that! Still, one gets some funny answers when desperation sets in. Pain & Panic from Disney’s Hercules had the most misses with guesses like, Hans & Franz, Inky & Blinky, The Bobs and just plain Strange.
And a tip of the hat to the quiz makers for a creative Round Three Theme this week. Quizmaster Lou got to torture his audience yet again with his acappella version of The Girl from Ipanema!
Have great week everyone! Au revoir!
||Team Beat Average
||The Douche Bags