QUIZ RECAP

When Hephasteses, God Of Hangnails, got his manicure, he specifically asked for his cuticles to be painted fuchsia. “You know I like fuchsia!” he yelled at the manicurist. Then, he promptly fell asleep. When he awoke, his cuticles were sufficiently fuchsia, but what he didn’t know was the manicurist (and much of his ragtag family) had crept in during Hep’s afternoon nap and painted a serpent’s tail on his forehead. Gazing at his cuticles when a woke, he said to the manicurist: “Next time, give me what I want.” He later attended the Winds Of War convention with that same serpent’s tail on his forehead (a symbol which is the equivalent of a coital appendage) whilst giving a speech of fire and brimstone to the now not-bored-at-all congregation. The point is this: Just because you leave a pub trivia competition before it’s over, doesn’t mean you’re not the best team there.

The Drinking Round tonight was a Whitney Off: Whoever could do the best Whitney Houston would win. Some guy who looked nothing like Whitney Houston showed up and sang something and totally won.

In third place tonight with a score of 24 points was Dah Bomb, which is quite extraordinary in that they came late and missed the entirety of round one. What a power move. In second place with a score of 28 points, let’s hear to for The Electric Storm. And dominating the night was Team Chavez with a score of 55 thousand points. Come back every Wednesday night at 7:30 to the The Glendale Tap for more King Trivia fun!

QUIZ RECAP

When Deranemus, God Of Concrete, chased those meddling neighborhood boys off his freshly-poured sidewalk for the third time that afternoon, he made a vow: “The next time they try it, I’m sending the wet concrete at their feet high into the air and then viciously down upon them like a crashing wave of heavy grey slabs.” The “it” here was a predilection the lads had for carving initials and other choice words into Der’s (that’s what friends called him) pavement before it was dry. One time, not only were their initials all over the place (easy to prove their guilt in court), but they had several misspelled words as well. In “Mr. Deranemus is a steenky butt,” the blatant error in “stinky” was plain as day. “Unacceptable!” he roared to the heavens and awaited the boys’ predictable return after paving over their markings. Then he waited. And waited. Until finally, they came back: all three scamps with twigs for writing implements and, oddly, boogie boards. They crouched down to leave their marks and, as promised, Deranemus (Der to his friends) summoned the wet concrete high into the air above the amazed boys. But before he could bring it down upon them like planned, they jumped atop their boogie boards and rode that wave of liquid concrete down Der’s street and away to safety, hooting and hollering all the way. One of them yelled back at Der: “We heard you yell your plan to the heavens. That’s how we knew to bring boogie boards!” Here’s the point: No such event took place tonight at King Trivia’s Glendale Tap Night tonight. Let’s talk:

The Drinking Round was a Swift Off. The best Taylor Swift rendition would win free drinks. The 25,000-person White Lotus took the main prize, even when the contestant forgot the words and his team helped him out!

In third place tonight was White Lotus with 44 points. In second was Jazz Cats with 51 points. And blowing the damn doors down by doubling or nothing-ing for 20 points in round was 7 My Hungry Guys. Their total score was 75 points!

Come back next Wednesday and every Wednesday for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap at 7:30!

QUIZ RECAP

Repella, Goddess Of Mountain Climbing, found herself in a pickle. Her grappling hook’s warranty had expired just as she was about to surge up to the next crevice on her climb up Mount Redundant. These new grappling hooks came with an automated voice that announced to the owner when exactly the warranty was to run out. Thirty seconds before the warranty’s expiration, it said: “Sorry, um…the warranty on this item will expire in thirty seconds.” And Repella was all: “Okay, so what happens now?” And the grappling hook answered: “Well, I give out and you plummet to your death. “But I’m a god,” answered Repella, “I can’t die.” The grappling hook answered: “Sounds like—symbolically then—you’re already dead.” It wasn’t often Repella got into existential conversations with inanimate objects, but this time she knew just what to do: She dislodged the hook from the rock, said: “Bye” to it, then tossed it to the depths below while jack-knifing in an upward direction to the cliff above her where she promptly whipped together a pot of stew and tuckered in for a long winter nap. Point is: There was nothing like this happening at King Trivia night on Wednesday. Let’s talk:

The Drinking Round was dominated by an age-appropriate guy doing a pitch-perfect impression of Colonel Sanders from the team Ohio Bound. They then left for Ohio. Bye!

In third place was Steamboat William with 48 points. In second was Ohio Bound with 54 points. And killing the entire night was Hefeweizguys with 61 points. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!