QUIZ RECAP

The holidays are fast approaching.  And with it, your wallet will be vastly decreasing in size.  Why?  Family.  Friends.  Those leeches that want you - the poor working man/woman - to provide them with gifts and "holiday cheer".  How dare they?  Who decided that this religious holiday - a birthday of some dude who got crucified - was suddenly the time for eggnog, reindeer and spending 80 bucks on an uncle you only see once a year?  Strapped for cash?  Already paying an arm and a leg and one of your ears for a plane ride home?  I've got some ideas for you:

1. Rob a bank - it's as easy as it looks in the movies!  And if you get caught you don't have to worry about buying anybody anything!

2. Rob a friend.  They probably owed you money anyway.

3. Compete in King Trivia's Star Wars trivia challenge next weekend.  Recruit a Wookiee for your team and you're guaranteed the prize money - besides, if you lose, that big walking shag carpet will just rip the winning team's arms off.  Always let the Wookiee win.

4. Get a job.  Lame.  Boring.  Boo.

5. Take advantage of your elders.  Grandma, Opa, Aunt Edna - whomever - give them a little call on that iPhone (yes, it does make calls!) and inform them that their annual birthday card to you (yes, the one with the cash) got lost in the mail.  They'll become frazzled, upset, say some vaguely racist things about the postman, and quickly assure you that another card (and more money) is on its way.  Do this once every week.

6. Create a pyramid scheme.  I mean, as long as you're at the top of that geometric shape you're fine!

7. Create a fake e-mail account and start sending people messages claiming to be a Royal Prince from Nigeria.  I mean, someone has to fall for this shit if they're still pulling this trick years down the line, right?  Find those suckers!

8. Use your skills and talents to create a product that people would like to - ugh, never mind.  Too time consuming.  Rob a bank!

QUIZ RECAP

QUIZ RECAP

Let us all stop for a moment and give thanks this holiday season:

Thankful for picture rounds that feature faces of people you actually recognize.

Thankful for that one time you were stuck on the metro and happened to read Maya Rudolph's page when you were in shock after finding out she's been happily married to Paul Thomas Anderson and that small nugget of information stuck out enough in your brain that you were able to turn in your answer for the 10 point clue.

Thankful that there's at least one person over 40 on your team to help with the history questions.

Thankful that no one called you a "backstabbing cretin" when you made the last minute decision to double down while turning in the answer sheet - without consulting your team - for the third time this month - and being completely wrong.

Thankful for drinking round challenges that require you to know absolutely nothing.

Thankful for Quizmasters who don't take points off for spelling - even when you've spelled your team name wrong several weeks in a row now.

Thankful that the new person you invited to trivia is dumber than you are.

Thankful that your two person team is still able to make that third place gift card last four weeks after you won it.

Thankful that everyone in the bar turns on that drunken idiot who shouts out an answer.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!