QUIZ RECAP

When Discathenia, Goddess of Throwing Discs, nailed Rubeneus, God Of Camping Gear, in the face for the third time during a game of Forest Throw Down, Rube (to his friends) finally started to take it personally. “Uh, I thought we were trying to have a good time!” explained Rube whilst stanching the geyser emanating from his nose again. “Uh, I am!” said Disca (to her friends) whilst laughing high into the trees. “You gotta remember,” she explained, “hitting your nose is ten points!” “Ten?” screamed Rube. “Since when ten? I thought it was five!” A ref appeared from a bush and consulted a clipboard. “Uh, yes,” said the ref. “‘Ten points for Rube’s Shnoz, but just Rube’s.’ That’s what it says.” “Well, this is unfair!” roared Rube, whilst getting thwacked again in the nose, by yet another player. This time the thrower was Jackanius, God Of Tires. “Look, Rube,” explained Jack, “You can’t leave the game. If it weren’t for you and your nose, I wouldn’t have any points!” Without saying another word, Rube quickly fashioned a nose shield out of some bark, foliage, mud and a beaver tail. Whatever nose Rube had was now hidden under all the natural accoutrement. “Go ahead! Go for my nose again!” he challenged them. Suddenly, Rube was disc-struck from behind by another of Disca’s discs, right on his ass. Rube was irritated, but not overly so. “Whatever,” he smirked. “Uh, your ass is twenty points,” said the ref and showed Rube his clipboard as proof. Point is: There was no such disc throwing tonight at The Glendale Tap’s King Trivia Night. Let’s talk!

The Drinking Round was Sing A Love Song, Dammit. Beans On Toast took it because the guy sang in a faded echo and who does that anymore? Who does that anymore? They do! Free drinks for them!

In third place tonight was Live Laugh Love with 41 points. In second was QuizKnows with 49 points! And dominating the night with 60 points was P’s In A Pod! Do come back next week for more King Trivia fun every Wednesday at The Glendale Tap, won’t you?

QUIZ RECAP

When Hydrophenia, Goddess Of Moisture, said: "Oh, nertz," it was because she was on her last sponge. That’s not a euphemism for something untoward; she was literally down to her one remaining sponge whilst cleaning the Kraken’s jacuzzi. “You finished yet?” asked the Kraken from his massage table. “You know how clean I like it.” Hydrophenia had lost a bet with Glatticus, God Of Gambling, that she could beat him at a spoons contest. Not playing the spoons; making them. Glatticus managed to get five thousand spoons done in just under three seconds, and Hydrophenia managed only four thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine. “It was embarrassing,” said the kingdom. Like, collectively. All together, they said it in unison: “It was embarrassing.” So now, she had to clean the Kraken’s stuff. But she would get back at him by putting a newly invented acidic astringent called Horse Breath on the porcelain of the Kraken’s bidet which only goes active once all light has been cut off from it. So, any day now, the entire kingdom wouldl hear an entirely new pitch of screaming from the Kraken once he needed to take care of his more posterior areas. Point is: No such bidets were present at The Glendale Tap Wednesday night. Let’s talk.

Urethra Franklin took the drinking round with a rendition of “Chocolate Rain” that the entire bar assured me was a real song. I’m sure it is. It sounds like something Prince almost wrote.

In third place tonight was the aforementioned Urethra Franklin with 53 points. In second was Jazz Cats with 55. And destroying the room with 67 points was Macho Taco Talk!

Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!

QUIZ RECAP

When Phillemena, Goddess Of Kumquats, got tasked with loading the Royal Trebuchet with stones, she asked: “Is there any way—and go with me on this—any way I can load this mother with some kumquats instead?” The entire army groaned. “Why you always bringing kumquats into everything, Phil?” “Um, I’m the Kumquat Queen! That’s my thing!” she answered. See, normally all catapults and trebuchets used the biggest boulders around for their ammo, but Zeus had been on a bender all month: nothing but scotch on the rocks, one after the other. And by “rock,” we mean huge boulders. That’s right: Zeus was throwing ‘em back to the tune of three boulders a glass. There were almost no boulders left in the kingdom. So when the annual Trebuchet Convention came around, Phil had no rocks to put in those giant wooden slingshots, so she asked nicely about loading them with kumquats, got a collective No from the army, but did it anyway. Through the cold night sky, thousands of naturally grown kumquats soared through the air, blocking out not only the local moon but all other moons in the vicinity. Point is: No such kumquats were on hand for King Trivia Night at the Glendale Tap this Wednesday! Let’s talk!

The Drinking Round this week was “Do A Scene From Pulp Fiction.” Lloyd Austin Feels Better did better than anyone else by reenacting the scene where Uma Thurman gets an adrenaline shot punched through her breast plate. The commitment to laying on a bar floor was enough for the win!

In third place was Points For Gryffindor with 35 points. In second tonight was El Pollo Loco with 36 points. And taking the night with 44 points was Heathers! Do come back next week Wednesday at 7:30 for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!