The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
When Landaneus, God Of Sand, finished his one millionth sand castle in five minutes at the Two Hundred Millionth Annual Godly Sand Castle Contest held every year at Cosmic Shores, he thought he was a shoo-in for the win. “Who else can do it like that?” asked Land (to his friends). “Maybe…ME?!” came the response from on high. Deep from a cloud, Sculptaneus, God Of Sculpture, plummeted to Land’s feet and said: “I’ll whip up one right now—just one—that will win this entire contest!” “But” was all Land could get out before Sculpt (to his friends), using only his eyes and the swivel of his neck, brought forth a sandy storm that immediately covered approximately seven thousand nine hundred and forty-eight square feet of beach. “I’m just getting started!” announced Sculpt, who truly was just beginning, for this five-second storm was but a foundation dig for what followed: a luxurious, sprawling, four-story mansion replete with moat, helipad and servants quarters. This all took no longer than twenty seconds. When finished, the crowd erupted in cacophonous applause and waited for the judges’ decisions. But one look at their table revealed the judges were missing. Well, not quite missing. Because they had moved—each of them—into the sand mansion Sculpt had just built. “We live here now,” said the judges. Land shouted into the echoing palace: “You guys gonna tell us who won?” The judges were never seen again, lost to the posh benefits of the Literal Sand Castle. “Doesn’t seem fair they get to live in such a nice place,” said Land. “Only til high tide,” said Sculpt. Here’s the point: trivia night at The Glendale Tap tonight was exactly like this! Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was a rousing SNL-off replete with impressions of “Cowbell,” the weird Bill Hader guy (don’t know his name), and Matt Foley. Trivia Besties took the win with the Foley impression. It’s the belt adjusting you gotta get just right. Congrats!
In third place was Matt Moscato with 57 points. In second was the aforementioned Trivia Besties with 67. And dominating the night for the two hundredth time was When In Ramen with an unacceptable 86 points! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 86 | 13 | 1.000 |
| 2 | Trivia Besties | 61 | 12 | 0.923 | |
| 3 | Matt Moscato | 57 | 11 | 0.846 | |
| 4 | Baby outside of the bar | 51 | 10 | 0.769 | |
| 5 | 149393 | Even More Queen Bees | 50 | 9 | 0.692 |
| 6 | Boogie Down | 48 | 8 | 0.615 | |
| 7 | Savage Gang | 45 | 7 | 0.538 | |
| 8 | 107470 | Points For Slytherin | 42 | 6 | 0.462 |
| 9 | 123775 | Agent R. Kyle | 40 | 5 | 0.385 |
| 10 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 36 | 4 | 0.308 |
| 11 | Where’s Eric | 34 | 3 | 0.231 | |
| 12 | Foxymoron | 33 | 2 | 0.154 | |
| 13 | 151209 | Inner Peaz | 34 | 1 | 0.077 |
| 14 | O, The Ennui | 15 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Pageus, God Of Paper, was typing invitations to the Great Ball Blow Out (a celebration of every ball ever made), he knew he’d need more paper to do it. But he had run out of trees. (“Run out of trees” is slang for “killed all the trees.”) He knew this because Barkaneus, God Of Trees, showed up beside him and was all: “What’s up with killing all my trees?” “Look,” said Pag (to his friends), “you want people to show up to the ball ball or not?” “Look,” said Bark (to his friends), “you want people to not be able to go camping ever again? There are no more trees! Where you gonna have this ball ball? In an open field somewhere?” The two gods thought over their problem for about five seconds before deciding the best solution was to call the God Of Water, their buddy Hydroneus. Hyd (to his friends) knew what they they were gonna ask him before they opened their big dumb mouths. “You want me to overabundantly water the dead Earth that you killed and thereby grow back all the trees, right?” Hyd said. And that’s just what he did: unleashing a superflood from on high, Hyd soaked the earth in a torrential downpour that lasted only one minute, but had the ferocity of a hundred and ten oceans dumping on one small area. Within seconds, the Earth became dotted with trees once again. Pag immediately killed one new tree, typed one more invitation, clapped his hands and said: “Done!” “Wait, said Hyd, “you just needed one more invitation? Just one more? I brought back al those trees for just one more invitation?” Embarrassed at the cosmic excess of what just happened, Pag said: “Yeah, just one. Yours!” And Pag handed Hyd his invitation to the Great Ball Blow Out. Which was nice because Hyd had not yet gotten his invitation. Here’s the point: Sometimes even gods gotta party…just like the denizens of the Glendale Tap did on King Trivia night. Let’s talk!
The Drinking Round was right bedlam as different people competed to do the best Jim Carey. Violent Virgos took the prize of free drinks with a monologue from Hamlet. That’s right: it was Jim Carey doing Hamlet.
In third place was In 973 Tony Orlando And Dawn Had A #1 Hit With Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree with 57 points. In second was Jazz Cats with 61 points. And taking the night was Moose And Squirrel with 66 points! Join us next week and every Wednesday at the Glendale Tap for more King Trivia fun!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 76213 | Moose and squirrel | 66 | 6 | 1.000 |
| 2 | Jazz Cats | 61 | 5 | 0.833 | |
| 3 | 145720 | In 1973 Tony Orlando and Dawn had a #1 hit with Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree | 57 | 4 | 0.667 |
| 4 | The Violent Virgos | 39 | 3 | 0.500 | |
| 5 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 34 | 2 | 0.333 |
| 6 | Sanderson Sisterwives | 32 | 0 | 0.083 | |
| 6 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 32 | 0 | 0.083 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Flipaneus, God Of Somersaults, finished his floor routine of one million straight somersaults at the One Millionth Annual Gods Of Tumbling Show, he thought for sure everyone would give him a levitation ovation. (You see, gods, when showing their approval for a performance, don’t just stand in applauding support for what they’ve seen; they raise themselves into the air and clap on high for the feat of wonder they’ve just witnessed.) But no such ovation was there. Flip (to his friends) discovered the entire auditorium had gone empty. He turned to the official and asked: “Where the hell did everyone go?” and the official said: “By flip number two hundred thousand, they saw how long this was gonna take and went home with every plan to come back before you finished. But you ramped up your speed by flip number eight hundred and fifty thousand and finished faster than they thought. They should be back any second.” “Crazy,” said Flip, and then said: “How’d I do by the way?” “Flip number seven hundred thousand six hundred and twenty-three wasn’t complete so you’ll have to do it again,” said the official. And so Flip devoted (as did the returning audience) the next three weeks of his life to starting over and beginning all one million somersaults again. Here’s the point: “The entire night at the Glendale Tap last night was exactly like this. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was a Frankenstein Off: the best impression of Frankenstein’s monster won free drinks. A guy with a cane took the prize! Anyone can win!
In third place tonight was Gen Z with 52 poijnts who had a tie breaker with Is This Multiple Choice? who took second with a good guess at how many million liters of beer were drunk at Munich’s Octoberfest last year. And, taking the whole night, was When In Ramen with 73 points! It’s great to be back after three weeks of no trivia! Come back next week for more King Trivia fu at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 73 | 13 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 56 | 12 | 0.923 |
| 3 | Is this multiple choice? | 52 | 11 | 0.846 | |
| 4 | Live Laugh Love | 51 | 10 | 0.769 | |
| 5 | 150146 | gen z | 52 | 9 | 0.692 |
| 6 | Table 2 | 38 | 8 | 0.615 | |
| 7 | 41,000 points | 37 | 7 | 0.538 | |
| 8 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 40 | 6 | 0.462 |
| 9 | 150152 | nine inch ails | 39 | 5 | 0.385 |
| 10 | The Battle of Sherman Helm’s Deep | 38 | 4 | 0.308 | |
| 11 | 150150 | FoxyMorons | 30 | 2 | 0.192 |
| 11 | Boomers | 30 | 2 | 0.192 | |
| 13 | Los agrios | 18 | 1 | 0.077 | |
| 14 | 150151 | Los Agrios | 7 | 0 | 0.000 |
