The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
When Jaialainea, Goddess Of Jai Alai, was at match point with Barrelaneus, God Of Barrels, at the One Millionth Annual God-Awful Jai Alai Tournament, she really thought she’d win. But right before her match-winning serve, she was reminded of something she’d forgotten: that for the last point, Barrel (to his friends) was allowed (by ancient ruling) to remove the barrel he was wearing for a uniform, flip it on its side, stand atop it and deliver a fiery oratory about the evils of unevenly matched cosmic sporting events. And this event was, indeed, unevenly matched: Jai (to her friends) had been so throttling her competition that the only thing Barrel had to look forward to was his speech at the end. And here he was: standing aloft on his court, with one finger stabbed into the air, yelling: “I say we end all sports in which I lose! I mean, do you know what this does to the reputation of a god when he loses jai alai like this? I’m getting thrashed up here.” At this, Jai wound up, swirled her good arm and sent the ball at about twenty-five thousand miles an hour into Barrel’s bum. The sound it made? As he toppled to the floor in his underwear? “THRASH!” Here’s the point: Tonight at the Glendale Tap was not unlike this scene. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was an Animal-Off: the best impression of any of the eight animals from round 2 would win free drinks. Win Place Show did a sitting duck and won. Free drinks for two!
In third place tonight was The Clara’s Voyants at 70 points. In second was Rob’s Angels at 76. And destroying the night was Click Here To Join Hegseth Group Chat with 81 points. Join us next week and every week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 155754 | Click Here to Join Hegseth Group Chat | 81 | 12 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 76 | 11 | 0.917 |
| 3 | The Clara’s Voyants | 70 | 10 | 0.833 | |
| 4 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 61 | 9 | 0.750 | |
| 5 | 155759 | Birdnest | 52 | 8 | 0.667 |
| 6 | 155771 | Stan & Steve | 46 | 6 | 0.542 |
| 6 | Win, place, show | 46 | 6 | 0.542 | |
| 8 | Foxymoron | 43 | 5 | 0.417 | |
| 9 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 42 | 4 | 0.333 |
| 10 | 155756 | Bingsu's Parents | 41 | 3 | 0.250 |
| 11 | The Dawgs | 37 | 2 | 0.167 | |
| 12 | Freakazoids | 20 | 1 | 0.083 | |
| 13 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 16 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Meatloafaneus, God Of Meat Loaf, threw his last dish onto the conveyor belt, he was all: “Well, that’s it for me!” but just then, from an armoire right behind him, Beefaneus, God Of Beef Wellingtons, screamed: “WHAT’S UP, KID!” Meat (to his friends) was all: “I knew putting that armoire in my kitchen was a mistake.” For the next ninety decades, Beef (to his friends) and Meat debated about the virtue (or lack thereof) of the green bell pepper in meatloaf. “It just sits there!” said Beef. “Without it, meatloaf looks like a geology lesson!” said Meat. In the end, both compromised and decided to make a meatloaf with yellow bell pepper instead. As a result, the Earth exploded. Here’s the point: What happened last night at the Glendale Tap on trivia night was very similar. Let’s talk:
Tonight’s Drinking Round was a Batman Off: The best impression of Batman won free drinks. Speakeasy did a re-creation of the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents and that will win me over every time! Free drinks!
In third place tonight was the aptly named Not Even Trying That Hard with 57 points. In second tonight was We Like Lichens with 59 points. And tackling the night, tying it up, and hoisting it on high like a giant trout was When In Ramen with 77 points. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 77 | 10 | 1.000 |
| 2 | we like lichens | 59 | 9 | 0.900 | |
| 3 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 57 | 8 | 0.800 | |
| 4 | Speakeasy | 51 | 7 | 0.700 | |
| 5 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 50 | 6 | 0.600 |
| 6 | 155077 | Shadow Money Wizard Gang (We Love Casting Spells) | 45 | 5 | 0.500 |
| 7 | Shorts eaters | 40 | 3 | 0.350 | |
| 7 | 154338 | Enola Gay Panic | 40 | 3 | 0.350 |
| 9 | Win, place, show | 37 | 2 | 0.200 | |
| 10 | Jill-uminati | 36 | 1 | 0.100 | |
| 11 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 37 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Doganeus, God Of Dogs, brought his sled of twelve huskies to a halt at the Gate Of Hollowswood, he and his dogs were ready for a nap. But a squeaky voice (belonging to a guy named Squeaky [totally true]) from a high-perched public address system rang forth with: “Password please?” Dog (to his friends) answered: “Are you asking me to give a password to get in, or do you yourself need a password?” “Why would I need a password?” asked Squeak (to his friends), “I work here.” “Okay,” said Dog, “I just didn’t understand what we were talking about. Can we start again?” “How far do you wanna go back? Do you wanna roll up with your huskies again or—?” “No, just the part where you ask me for a password.” “Okay,” said Squeak and started again. “Password please?” and Dog said: “Do mean the game Password? Where I say a word and you try to figure out the secret word I’m trying to get you to say?” Squeak’s voice, an already thin and reedy quack, now went impossibly higher as his frustration got the best of him. “Look, is this your first time at the gate?” and Dog thought Squeak was playing Password with that response and said: “Well, that’s more than one word, but I’ll say the word is “Question.” Squeak and Dog went on like the this for the next hundred years before Squeak finally said: “Oh, all right, go on in” and opened the Gate for him and his twelve huskies who immediately mushed into the center quad and relieved themselves right by the fountain. Here’s the point: Trivia night at the Glendale Tap last night was exactly like this. Let’s talk:
Tonight’s Drinking Round was an Irish Off: the best Irish accent would take win—take a guess—free drinks. The winner was When In Ramen for a rendition of Danny Boy that filled the room with shame and wonder. Free drinks!
In first place was Boogie Down with 68 points. In second was Rob’s Angels with 61 points. And in a three-way tie breaker for third was When In Ramen with 59 points. Blarney! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Boogie Down | 68 | 9 | 1.000 | |
| 2 | Live Laugh Love | 59 | 8 | 0.889 | |
| 3 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 61 | 7 | 0.778 |
| 4 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 59 | 5 | 0.611 |
| 4 | Foxymoron | 59 | 5 | 0.611 | |
| 6 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 50 | 4 | 0.444 |
| 7 | win, place, show | 45 | 3 | 0.333 | |
| 8 | 153528 | A$AP Scissory Papery | 25 | 2 | 0.222 |
| 9 | 154524 | ItThe Stuffed Animals | 21 | 0 | 0.056 |
| 9 | 12605 | Bea Arthur Gives Me A Chubby | 21 | 0 | 0.056 |
