QUIZ RECAP

When Hempaneus, God Of Pot, looked up from his squatted position to find Buckaneus, God Of Rodeos, standing before him, he knew it was time to put the hoe down and go to a hoedown, KNOW’M SAYN’?  Before he could put on his pants, Hemp (to his friends) and Buck (to his friends) warped to Cloud Ranch for the One Millionth Annual Hoedown Of The Gods, a robust affair offering the best in godlike competitions, such as: The Cosmic Dunk Tank, which featured a frightened demon perched on the dunk bench dangling precariously above not a vat of water but rather an infinite drop into literal outer space as god after god chucked stars and moons at the target to hopefully send him into the abyss; The Armor Sack Race, which boasted pairs of gods each with one leg out of and one leg in huge metallic bags of metal, limp-racing down a million mile path…and then back; and the Bogging For Planets Contest, in which gods stuck their universe-sized heads into a large cistern of moons from alpha centauri and try to come up with as many in their mouths as possible. Upon arriving, the crowd went silent as Hemp and Buck sauntered to the fried dough booth and carbed up before their attempt at Mountain Hurling. This sounds like a contest of who can throw a mountain the farthest, but no! It’s a contest to see who can barf a mountain the farthest. Contestants had to quickly eat a mountain, and then projectile vomit that mountain across the universe for points. And Buck and Hemp knew nothing would induce vomiting better than three or four bites of Carberea’s (Carb to her fiends) fried dough. Minutes later, all doughed up, Hemp and Buck tucked into an alp and a volcano respectively and chewed til their infinite stomachs made pre-launch noises. Then, like cannons from Zeus’s party bus, they both hurled their not-yet-digested mountains into the air, the sky, the universe, where both land masses immediately fused together into one big asteroid and plummeted right back down onto the Hoedown, blowing everyone to bits except Hemp and Buck who knew what was going to happen and warped back to Hemp’s garden. “Looks like we won’t have to do that again,” they both said at the same time. Here’s the point: Something like this kinda happened at The Glendale Tap on King Trivia night when the first place team scored what they scored. Let’s talk:

The Drinking Round was gonna be a competition to see who could do the best impression of James Bond, but there was a baby in the bar and instead it became a baby off. The two-player team Double Crocs took the win by burping each other. And wearing crocs. Free beers.

In third place with a score of 52 points was the aforementioned Double Crocs. In second with 58 was Rob’s Angels. And destroying the night with 75,000 points was Post Pink! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun (and maybe another baby) at The Glendale Tap!

QUIZ RECAP

When Bowlaneus, God Of Bowling, lacquered his lanes every Sunday night, he didn’t like to be disturbed. That’s why the summons from Whippaneus, God Of Rodeos, threw him for a loop. Appearing like a hologram before him on Lane 26, Whip (to his friends) said: “I need you at the Buck ’N Fall! There’s been a fight between the clowns and the riders!” Bowl (to his friends) dropped what he was doing and teleported to the Buck ’N Fall ASAP. And sure enough, the rodeo clowns and the riders were indeed in a tussle: the riders felt the clowns were overstepping their goofy bounds and the clowns thought the riders were uptight. “Look, if I can do a prat fall and get some laughs without getting a hoof to the ear, why not go for it?” reasoned the clowns. Whereas the riders were all: “We’re gonna kill you.” Always ready with a portable lawn bowling set, Bowl whipped out eight balls, one little one, six cones and some measuring tape. “Maybe I can help?” he announced from literally a cloud. Soon, all clowns and riders were competing in lawn bowling. The crowd booed, but no one got hurt. Here’s the point: There was no such booing at the Glendale Tap on King Trivia Night. Let’s talk.

It’s not often that a Drinking Round will stun the crowd to silence, but the Brando Off (where one person from each team had to come up and do their impression of some guy named Marlon Brando) saw Ontario China do a little speech from On The Waterfront that had me thinking about old dead pets from my chiuldhood and people I should say sorry to. Free beers for them.

Speaking of Ontario China, they took third place with 47 points. Followed by second place with 57 points by Live Laugh Love. And stealing the night was Garbage Town with 70,000 points. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!

QUIZ RECAP

What really needs to be said about a night like this? Sometimes, the right combination of smart, ambitious and fun loving teams comes together with fantastic purple beer, adorable skeleton decorations, souvlaki carts and great questions (with a Canada focus) to create a perfect night of trivia. And before the dust could clear, we saw ourselves face to face with the dreaded TIE BREAKER! What a game!