The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
When Kumquataneus, God Of East Asian Citrus, was putting the finishing touches on a nine thousand feet-wide fruit salad for the one millionth annual Fruit Bowl Of The Gods, his phone rang. Quat, to his friends, answered. “Yes?” he said. “Quat!” was the response from a voice that could’ve only belonged to Saladaneus, God Of Salads. “I need a endive for my mom in like fifteen minutes!” said Sal (to his friends), “can you do it?” “I’m up to my elbows in kumquats!” said Quat. “That sounds really personal,” said Sal. Throwing in his last kumquat, Quat teleported to Sal’s garage, where all the salads were made. “Why do you make salads in your garage?” asked Quat. “I’m not allowed in the kitchen,” said Sal, “long story.” With much dicing and cutting, Quat whipped up a hell of an endive salad for Sal’s mom. Sal went: “Don’t tell anyone I didn’t make this. If it gets out that the God Of Salads couldn’t make a salad, I’d never live this down.” “Secret’s safe,” said Quat as he handed over the salad to Sal who said: “Look, I lied, this ain’t for my mom, it’s for me” and inhaled the salad in one breath. Here’s the point: No such deception took place at the Glendale Tap on King Trivia night tonight. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round tonight was a competition for whoever could the best impression of themselves at Thanksgiving the next day. A guy from Liverpool got up and saids: “I’m sorry I’ve shown up looking like this. I promise to clean and sober next year though.” He won because no one else wanted to compete.
In third place tonight was Ditching Thanksgiving at 50. In second place was When In Ramen at 60. And absolutely obliterating the night to a suspicious degree was MARSHAMARSHAMARSHA with 80 points. Yes. 80. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 147625 | MARSHAMARSHAMARCHA | 80 | 9 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 147632 | When in Ramen | 60 | 8 | 0.889 |
| 3 | Ditching Thanksgiving | 50 | 7 | 0.778 | |
| 4 | I have so many carcasses | 42 | 5 | 0.611 | |
| 4 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 42 | 5 | 0.611 |
| 6 | 117730 | Points for Gryffindor | 36 | 4 | 0.444 |
| 7 | 147624 | Liverpool | 35 | 3 | 0.333 |
| 8 | Foxymoron | 34 | 2 | 0.222 | |
| 9 | 147637 | Happy Festivus | 31 | 1 | 0.111 |
| 10 | 147626 | 2 to the Power of Love | 20 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Loppaneus, God Of Amputations, was in the middle of severing the fingernail from the middle digit of the right hand of Palmaneus, God Of Hands, his pager suddenly went off. “Are you a drug dealer?” asked Palm (to his friends) of Lopp (to his friends). “No, no,” said Lopp, “I just have to take this.” “Pity,” said Palm as Lopp flew across the room to dial on a payphone attached to his wall. “Why do you have that?” Palm asked Lopp. “Which, my pager or the pay phone?” Lopp asked. “Both,” said Palm. “Retro hipness,” said Loop. The number he dialed went through, miraculously, and a voice answered on the other end. “Hey, Rocko,” said Lopp, “What is it? I’m in the middle of a fingernail amputation.” “My elephant Barry needs a manicure,” said Rockaneous, God Of Granite, on the other end, “can you do it?” “Elephants have feet, so it’d be a pedicure,” answered Lopp. “Barry said manicure,” said Rocko.” And there began a debate over whether elephants had feet or hands that lasted just shy of a million years. By the time they compromised (that Rocko’s front two limbs were hands and rear two were feet), Palm needed another fingernail amputation; that’s how much time went by. Here’s the point: Wednesday night trivia nights at the Glendale Tap don’t take nearly that long. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was a Cha Cha Slide Off. The best Cha Cha Slider won free drinks for their team. One guy from Queen Bees took it seriously and so took the prize. No one could compare. And he did it without music too. Nuts!
There were 15 teams tonight! Wow wow wee wow. In third place tonight was Baby Ball Lightening with 42 points. In second was Steamboat William with 43 points. And destroying the night and out hearts was Garbagetown with 51 points. Come back next Wednesday for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 81511 | Garbagetown | 51 | 14 | 1.000 |
| 2 | Pizzadena | 41 | 13 | 0.929 | |
| 3 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 40 | 12 | 0.857 |
| 4 | Steamboat William | 43 | 11 | 0.786 | |
| 5 | 147141 | Baby Ball Lightning | 42 | 10 | 0.714 |
| 6 | 147133 | the mustangs | 41 | 9 | 0.643 |
| 7 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 36 | 8 | 0.571 |
| 8 | 76213 | Moose and squirrel | 35 | 7 | 0.500 |
| 9 | Burger buddies | 30 | 6 | 0.429 | |
| 10 | Powerpuff Girls | 27 | 5 | 0.357 | |
| 11 | The Eleventh Team | 25 | 4 | 0.286 | |
| 12 | Arnold Palmers | 22 | 1 | 0.095 | |
| 12 | Jazzcats | 22 | 1 | 0.095 | |
| 12 | Dirty Biscuits | 22 | 1 | 0.095 | |
| 15 | 147140 | Spanish In-Quiz-Ition | 8 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
Ephemereus, God Of Hobbies, was just putting the last touches of glue on his model Messerschmitt when there was a knock at his brain. Not his door. His head. “Come in!” he said to whoever was knocking. “Yeah, I’m already in!” was the answer from Craneus, God Of Heads. “Oh, Craneus!” said Eph (to his friends). “How’d you get in there?” he asked him. “I’m Craneus,” he answered. “I’m always in here! Time to do a deep clean!” he observed. And so for the next three hours, Cran (to his friends) industrially hosed down Eph’s central sulcus, parietal lobe, and corpus callosum. “I have a corpus callosum?” asked Eph. “Sounds like a place where you have chariot races.” “Hey, that reminds me!” said Cran, “I have to host bar trivia tonight, and boy the bartenders better not win!” Here’s the point: When the bartenders win, it sets a mood. Let’s talk!
The Drinking Round tonight was a Turtle Off. Whoever could do the best impression of a teenaged mutant ninja turtle would win free drinks for their team. Rob’s Angels clinched it with an impression that I guess was pretty good. I have no idea, but they won! Free drinks!
In a monumental display of never-before-seen pop culture prowess, Glendale Tap This! (the bartenders) won! This never (!) happens. So, true to form, they passed their winnings to the next team down. So, in third place was Garbagetown with 49 points. In second was When In Ramen with 50 points. And taking first was Rob’s Angels with 57 points! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 73 | 11 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 57 | 10 | 0.909 |
| 3 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 50 | 9 | 0.818 |
| 4 | 81511 | Garbagetown | 49 | 8 | 0.727 |
| 5 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 44 | 7 | 0.636 |
| 6 | Foxymoron | 42 | 6 | 0.545 | |
| 7 | 146586 | Big Pint Energy | 41 | 5 | 0.455 |
| 8 | Jazz Cats | 38 | 4 | 0.364 | |
| 9 | 129169 | Cornpop! | 35 | 2 | 0.227 |
| 9 | Brighton Time | 35 | 2 | 0.227 | |
| 11 | 146595 | Bootleg Charlotte Hornets Starter Jacket (Hamstacks for short) | 24 | 1 | 0.091 |
| 12 | 146627 | Stones | 14 | 0 | 0.000 |
