The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
Flanripedes, God Of Mexican custard, was pouring butterscotch into a three-by-five bowl at The Trojan Convention for a live flan demonstration when he suddenly remembered: “I left the iron on back home!” Immediately teleporting from the convention back to his studio apartment in the clouds, he found he had left the iron on—one of many irons he had in many kilns. When not making cosmic Mexican custard, Flan (to his friends) enjoyed making swords. So when he says he left the iron on, he’s talking about metal working and forging things in fire. Know what I mean? His landlord came knocking. “Oh, you’re back. I was gonna have to call the fire department.” “Hey,” asked Flan to his landlord, “could you handle this for me? I got a bunch of custard back at the con I gotta deal with and I just don’t have time for this.” Obliging him, the landlord promised he’d tend to the still glowing irons as Flan teleported back to his custard customers or, as he liked to call them, his custard-mers. Meanwhile, the landlord took it upon himself to steal all of Flan’s swords so as to attend the Trojan War Reenactment Convention the following week. Point is: Nothing like this happened at The Glendale Tap King Trivia Night. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was a Dynamite Off. Napoleon Dynamite, that is. Some guy from one of the teams did a C+ impression of him and won. That was all it took. Anyone can do it, and anyone did do it!
In third place tonight was Zach at 39 points but he’s an employee of the Glendale Tap so he handed it off to the fourth place finishers which were Jazzcats, and I think they planned it this way the whole time. Cunning and sneaky. In second place was the two-personed Discount Robert Plant Tickets $150.00 with a score of 53 points. And demolishing all who stood in their way was Fruity Pebbles with 74,000 points. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Fruity Pebbles | 74 | 7 | 1.000 | |
| 2 | 129147 | Discount Robert Plamt Tickets $150 | 53 | 6 | 0.857 |
| 3 | 129167 | Zach (GT) | 39 | 5 | 0.714 |
| 4 | 80303 | Jazzcats | 35 | 4 | 0.571 |
| 5 | 129169 | Cornpop! | 30 | 3 | 0.429 |
| 6 | Team Solo | 29 | 2 | 0.286 | |
| 7 | 129164 | Somewhere down on Fullerton | 25 | 1 | 0.143 |
| 8 | Pretzel Mike | 17 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
Clementine, Goddess Of Orchards, was scanning her trees for possible shoplifters. She was always having to fend off thieves and dirt-heels, scamps and tramps, never-do-wells who were always trying to steal from her trees. One day she re-planted her entire orchard over a hidden frack mouth. The frack, an enormous creature with galaxies for eyes and worlds for fangs, was completely disguised as the ground of the orchard. Clem (to her fiends) made an announcement. “I’m going on vacation!” she bellowed through the skies. Every criminal, expecting her to be gone, from Hades to Heaven heard it and converged on the orchard likes flies do excrement. Not at all on vacation however, Clem watched from the skies as a several roaring bands of thieves decimated her orchards, tree by tree. They stuffed fruit after fruit into their cheap, burlap bags and snickered at how easy it was, right as Clem gave the signal to the frack, via text of course. The frack’s phone plan was about to run out so it would be the last text he’d get. “Eat them alive” the text read. And the frack responded. Clamping its jaws shut, which acted as the orchard floor, as several gangs got chomped to their death was a sight for—well, only one person to see and that was Clem since everyone else, except the frack was dead. Here’s the point: Don’t steal from orchards and don’t cheat at trivia contests. It’s not nice. Let’s talk:
The winner of the Drinking Round tonight was begrudgingly sang a Johnny Cash song and one free drinks for his team. Free alcohol. Just what Johnny would’ve liked.
In third place tonight with a score of 48 points was Jazz Cats. In second place with a score of 52 points was Queen Bees. And destroying everybody was P’s In A Pod with 56 points. Please come back next Wednesday and every Wednesday at 7:30 at The Glendale Tap for more King Trivia fun!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 107422 | Ps in a Pod | 56 | 4 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 52 | 3 | 0.750 |
| 3 | Jazzcats | 48 | 2 | 0.500 | |
| 4 | 3 girls who aren’t great at trivia | 44 | 1 | 0.250 | |
| 5 | Wronk and roll | 28 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Hephasteses, God Of Hangnails, got his manicure, he specifically asked for his cuticles to be painted fuchsia. “You know I like fuchsia!” he yelled at the manicurist. Then, he promptly fell asleep. When he awoke, his cuticles were sufficiently fuchsia, but what he didn’t know was the manicurist (and much of his ragtag family) had crept in during Hep’s afternoon nap and painted a serpent’s tail on his forehead. Gazing at his cuticles when a woke, he said to the manicurist: “Next time, give me what I want.” He later attended the Winds Of War convention with that same serpent’s tail on his forehead (a symbol which is the equivalent of a coital appendage) whilst giving a speech of fire and brimstone to the now not-bored-at-all congregation. The point is this: Just because you leave a pub trivia competition before it’s over, doesn’t mean you’re not the best team there.
The Drinking Round tonight was a Whitney Off: Whoever could do the best Whitney Houston would win. Some guy who looked nothing like Whitney Houston showed up and sang something and totally won.
In third place tonight with a score of 24 points was Dah Bomb, which is quite extraordinary in that they came late and missed the entirety of round one. What a power move. In second place with a score of 28 points, let’s hear to for The Electric Storm. And dominating the night was Team Chavez with a score of 55 thousand points. Come back every Wednesday night at 7:30 to the The Glendale Tap for more King Trivia fun!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Team Chavez | 55 | 5 | 1.000 | |
| 2 | Glendale tap | 29 | 3 | 0.700 | |
| 2 | Clapperfest | 29 | 3 | 0.700 | |
| 4 | The Electric Storm | 28 | 2 | 0.400 | |
| 5 | 127797 | DahBomb | 24 | 1 | 0.200 |
| 6 | Whacko Jacko | 19 | 0 | 0.000 |
