The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
When Doganeus, God Of Dogs, brought his sled of twelve huskies to a halt at the Gate Of Hollowswood, he and his dogs were ready for a nap. But a squeaky voice (belonging to a guy named Squeaky [totally true]) from a high-perched public address system rang forth with: “Password please?” Dog (to his friends) answered: “Are you asking me to give a password to get in, or do you yourself need a password?” “Why would I need a password?” asked Squeak (to his friends), “I work here.” “Okay,” said Dog, “I just didn’t understand what we were talking about. Can we start again?” “How far do you wanna go back? Do you wanna roll up with your huskies again or—?” “No, just the part where you ask me for a password.” “Okay,” said Squeak and started again. “Password please?” and Dog said: “Do mean the game Password? Where I say a word and you try to figure out the secret word I’m trying to get you to say?” Squeak’s voice, an already thin and reedy quack, now went impossibly higher as his frustration got the best of him. “Look, is this your first time at the gate?” and Dog thought Squeak was playing Password with that response and said: “Well, that’s more than one word, but I’ll say the word is “Question.” Squeak and Dog went on like the this for the next hundred years before Squeak finally said: “Oh, all right, go on in” and opened the Gate for him and his twelve huskies who immediately mushed into the center quad and relieved themselves right by the fountain. Here’s the point: Trivia night at the Glendale Tap last night was exactly like this. Let’s talk:
Tonight’s Drinking Round was an Irish Off: the best Irish accent would take win—take a guess—free drinks. The winner was When In Ramen for a rendition of Danny Boy that filled the room with shame and wonder. Free drinks!
In first place was Boogie Down with 68 points. In second was Rob’s Angels with 61 points. And in a three-way tie breaker for third was When In Ramen with 59 points. Blarney! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Boogie Down | 68 | 9 | 1.000 | |
| 2 | Live Laugh Love | 59 | 8 | 0.889 | |
| 3 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 61 | 7 | 0.778 |
| 4 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 59 | 5 | 0.611 |
| 4 | Foxymoron | 59 | 5 | 0.611 | |
| 6 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 50 | 4 | 0.444 |
| 7 | win, place, show | 45 | 3 | 0.333 | |
| 8 | 153528 | A$AP Scissory Papery | 25 | 2 | 0.222 |
| 9 | 154524 | ItThe Stuffed Animals | 21 | 0 | 0.056 |
| 9 | 12605 | Bea Arthur Gives Me A Chubby | 21 | 0 | 0.056 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Larrondeus, God Of Ladders, played his last piece of Music For Mallets at the One Millionth Annual “Beats By Gods” fest, he was the only percussionist who didn't fashion his instrument from the femur bones of those obliterated at the Great Culling the night before. Instead, he diced up his own father’s ladder (with his permission) to fashion a quick twenty sticks and attach them to an equal number of long, horizontal dowels to vigorously beat on twenty different timpani heads simultaneously, thus making the biggest banging racket of all the gods competing that night. “Unfair!” roared the competition, “we mutilated many human celebrants for the right to bang away as we wish!” “Yes,” said Larr (to his friends), but I instead used this stuff called wood to do it.!” “We will look comparatively barbaric,” answered the other gods. “Um,” said Larr, “weren’t you already that?” As Larr continued this rhythmic thumping of ladder-oriented music, the other gods were suddenly set upon by the ghosts of their victims. Swarms of limping, legless sprites spiritually assailed them, snatched back their legs from the gods, and beat them about the face and neck with them. Larr provided much-loved percussive accompaniment to this event, as the ghosts eventually reattached their limbs and went into the afterlife with more upright posture. Here’s the point: The same thing happened at King Trivia night at the Glendale Tap. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was won by Glendale Paper Boys with an impression of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons that brought the entire bar to tears. Free drinks!
In third place with a score of 50 points was Win, Place, Show! In second place with a score of 78 was Social Insecurity Administration. And taking the night with 86 points was, once again, When In Ramen. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 86 | 10 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 153964 | Social Insecurity Administration | 78 | 9 | 0.900 |
| 3 | Win, place, show | 50 | 8 | 0.800 | |
| 4 | 153963 | Shadow Bandits | 48 | 7 | 0.700 |
| 5 | 147993 | Silverlake Big Floppas ⚾️🧢 | 47 | 6 | 0.600 |
| 6 | 153959 | FoxyMiniMorons | 46 | 5 | 0.500 |
| 7 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 48 | 4 | 0.400 |
| 8 | 153976 | Pesto Chicken | 38 | 3 | 0.300 |
| 9 | 153957 | A to Z | 33 | 2 | 0.200 |
| 10 | 153528 | A$AP Scissory Papery | 32 | 1 | 0.100 |
| 11 | 153975 | Glendale paper boys | 24 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Alphabeus, God Of Spelling Bees, was finishing up the championship word—which was AUTOCHTHONOUS—he was thinking about what he was gonna have for lunch, so he almost got it confused with ANCHOVY and had to start again. In front of five planets watching, Alph (to his friends) said: May I start again?” The Universe sighed and said: “Start again.” And Alph went again from the top: “Autochthonous. A. U. T. O.—“ And then again, Alph’s mind wondered and started to think about what kind of car he was gonna take to the anchovy place. (A lot of people only see anchovies things you put on pizza, but Alph was one of those gods that liked ‘em straight out of the bag, A date once asked him: “You don’t get them on pizza?” and Alph said: “I eat them out of a bag. You know…like at the movies.” Once these thoughts ruled his roost, he had to start again: “Sorry, I’m getting distracted up here. Can I start again?” And at that, Zeus (Zed to his friends) chimed in from on high and said: “One more delay, Alph, and I’ll send this entire universe into the wood chipper.” And with that, Alph buckled down and said: “A.U.T.O.C.H.T.O.N.O.U.S.” and shot five hundred miles into the air, eschewing his winning trophy so as to get to the anchovy house before it closed. Here’s the point: This is exact ting happened last night at the Glendale Tap on King Trivia Night. Let’s talk!
The Drinking Round was a Wednesday Off: the best dance impression of Wednesday’s dance from The Adams Family took free drinks and When In Ramen took it. It was the look of disdain while doing the dance that won the judges (me) over. Beers!
In third place tonight, with a score of 60 points, was the aforementioned When In Ramen. And taking second in a vampire-themed tie-breaker was Foxymoron with a score of 65 points. In first place, also with 65 was Live Laugh Love! Come back next week for King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Foxymoron | 65 | 9 | 0.950 | |
| 1 | Live Laugh Love | 65 | 9 | 0.950 | |
| 3 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 60 | 8 | 0.800 |
| 4 | Speakeasy | 50 | 7 | 0.700 | |
| 5 | Boogie Down | 48 | 6 | 0.600 | |
| 6 | Matt Chardonnay | 42 | 4 | 0.450 | |
| 6 | 153390 | Luka DonkThicc | 42 | 4 | 0.450 |
| 8 | Jam Solo | 35 | 3 | 0.300 | |
| 9 | win, place, show | 36 | 2 | 0.200 | |
| 10 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 35 | 1 | 0.100 |
| 11 | 149393 | Even More Queen Bees | 30 | 0 | 0.000 |
