The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
When Tallulah, Goddess Of Telepathy, ended her one o’clock mind reading show at the God Bowl (she did six shows a day: one, two-thirty, three-fifteen, four, five and six-fifteen), a loud klaxon sounded from the rafters above. “Be advised!” a booming voice intoned. “There is currently a swarm of peas converging on this area. Do take cover!” Tall (to her friends), not at all afraid of peas, said: “What have we to worry about a few peas?” She said this loud enough for the crowd to hear and they were all: “Um, you’re not from around here are you?” (They asked this in unison; all three hundred in perfect synchronization.) And in fact, Tall wasn’t from there. “What,” she asked, “are you peas a different breed than I’m used to.” And, just as she was finished scoffing, the above mentioned swarm made its appearance: the universe was blotted out (even more blotted out than it already is because space is dark as hell) by a veritable green cloud of giant peas. Like, one pea was the size of Pluto, but just because Pluto’s the smallest planet, that’s still a pretty large-ass size for a pea, right? Tall started to mouth off like the smart aleck she was until a little kid in the audience, anticipating her sarcasm, advised her: “Don’t! Say! Anything! They hate funny people!” Taking a kid’s advice was something Tall never thought she’d do, but do she did: she shut her mouth as approximately one thousand Pluto-sized peas swept over the crowd, the stage and the rest of the universe. It only took about five years fro them to completely pass and move on out of sight. When they were safely gone, Tall turned to the quiet crowd and asked: “So, who’s staying for the two-thirty show?” Here’s the point: This exact thing happened tonight at The Glendale Tap for King Trivia night. Let’s talk.
In honor of round two, tonight’s Drinking Round was a vampire-off: the team who could do the best impression of a vampire would win. Not Even Trying That Hard would take it with an impression of something the crowd liked a lot but completely baffled me. Free drinks!
In thiird place tonight with a score of 60 points was the aforementioned Not Even Trying That Hard. In second with 61 was Foxymoron. And dominating the night once again with 76 points was When In Ramen. Come back next Wednesday for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 76 | 9 | 1.000 |
| 2 | Foxymoron | 61 | 8 | 0.889 | |
| 3 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 60 | 7 | 0.778 | |
| 4 | 157401 | El Salvadoordash | 56 | 6 | 0.667 |
| 5 | 157414 | Something about Katy Perry in space | 54 | 5 | 0.556 |
| 6 | 157421 | JD Vance's Couch | 53 | 4 | 0.444 |
| 7 | win, place, show | 51 | 3 | 0.333 | |
| 8 | 117730 | Points for Gryffindor | 41 | 2 | 0.222 |
| 9 | 157411 | Glendale Grumps | 30 | 1 | 0.111 |
| 10 | Crispin Lawson | 17 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Jackeus, God Of Tire Irons, changed the last of one million tires at The Great Tire Changing Contest, a yearly event in which all the gods who had tire-changing know-how (this number was one, by the way) competed for the first place prize of an all expenses paid trip to Saturn, he was ready to do a million more when he noticed the crowd had completely left. Sitting before him now was a veritable tribunal of judges who, unnoticed by Jack (to his friends), had all pulled up in their respective SUV’s. “Change these tires,” they collectively challenged him. Jack looked at their tires long enough to see they weren’t tires at all; the round devices that should’ve been tires were actually enormous universe-sized Saturn rings, each swirling at a million miles an hour. Without breaking a sweat, Jack conjured up a ring-swiping pipe that directly removed all four sets of rings and replaced them with four sets of new rings, but not from Saturn. Unbeknownst to the judges, Jack replaced their rings with those from Zeta II Reticuli, thus rendering their vehicles completely inert in about a thousand and one years, just a hair over their warranties. Here’s the point: There were no tires changed tonight at the Glendale Tap. Let’s talk.
Tonight’s Drinking Round was an Urkel-Off. Foxymoron took it by insulting the host and don’t tell anyone this but that will always work!
In third place tonight was Impish Pesterers with 75 points. In second with 83 points was Molotov Mocktails. And dominating the night with 95 (wow!) points was Rob’s Angels. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 95 | 11 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 156844 | Molotov Mocktails | 83 | 10 | 0.909 |
| 3 | 156841 | impish pesterers | 75 | 9 | 0.818 |
| 4 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 68 | 8 | 0.727 |
| 5 | Live Laugh Love | 63 | 7 | 0.636 | |
| 6 | 67681 | Paw Patrol | 60 | 6 | 0.545 |
| 7 | 152714 | Speakeasy | 57 | 5 | 0.455 |
| 8 | 156833 | Nadia & The Nasty Boys | 50 | 4 | 0.364 |
| 9 | Foxymoron | 45 | 3 | 0.273 | |
| 10 | 156838 | Betty White Lotus | 41 | 2 | 0.182 |
| 11 | 156874 | Impish Pesters Pt. 2 | 7 | 1 | 0.091 |
| 12 | 156880 | May I make this team to read the questions since I cannot hear them well (sorry) | 0 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Laundranea, Goddess Of Laundry, threw her last load into the Cosmic Dryer (the 3.5 Lightyear by Amana, to be exact, a brand known for its speed, efficiency and being larger than most black holes), she thought that would be her last one for the day. But no! Suddenly, from her periphery, Clinganeus, God Of Static Cling, drifted down like so much floating lint and landed lightly on her shoulder. “Hey, Laund (to her friends),” he said, “got time for one more?” Cling (to his friends) dug into his toga and yanked out some soiled and awful dungarees for Laund to clean. “By hand, please,” requested Cling. “You asked for it,” answered Laund as she blew the dungarees out of Cling’s grasp with the power of her universe-fueled breath and into the tanker-sized mitts of Handaneus, God Of Palms. Quickly bringing the edges of Cling’s garment together with one hand, Hand (to his friends) created so much friction that the dungs (to their friends) caught fire and immediately evaporated in the expanse between what palm rewards know to be the fate and fame lines of Hand’s enormous, well, hands. Smoke from the destroyed pants filled the universe and rained down on black holes for centuries to come. “Hey,” said Cling. “You didn’t say by my hand,” answered Laund. Here’s the point: This exact scene played out tonight at the Glendale Tap. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was won by Queen Bees whose team member sang a Tina Turner song. No one could compete and no one did. You too can be “simply the best” if no one will challenge you. Free drinks all around (for that one team).
In third place tonight was Foxymoron with 54 points. In second was Rob’s Angels with 61 points. And dominating the night was Queen Bees with 72 points. Come back next week for more King Trivia Fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 72 | 9 | 1.000 |
| 2 | Rob’s Angels | 61 | 8 | 0.889 | |
| 3 | Foxymoron | 54 | 7 | 0.778 | |
| 4 | lasorteds or die | 49 | 6 | 0.667 | |
| 5 | Boogie Down | 44 | 5 | 0.556 | |
| 6 | Mama’s Boyz | 37 | 4 | 0.444 | |
| 7 | 135457 | Cheese knees | 35 | 3 | 0.333 |
| 8 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 33 | 2 | 0.222 |
| 9 | 156314 | Tiki Beaches | 31 | 1 | 0.111 |
| 10 | Win, place, show | 17 | 0 | 0.000 |
