The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
When Laundranea, Goddess Of Laundry, threw her last load into the Cosmic Dryer (the 3.5 Lightyear by Amana, to be exact, a brand known for its speed, efficiency and being larger than most black holes), she thought that would be her last one for the day. But no! Suddenly, from her periphery, Clinganeus, God Of Static Cling, drifted down like so much floating lint and landed lightly on her shoulder. “Hey, Laund (to her friends),” he said, “got time for one more?” Cling (to his friends) dug into his toga and yanked out some soiled and awful dungarees for Laund to clean. “By hand, please,” requested Cling. “You asked for it,” answered Laund as she blew the dungarees out of Cling’s grasp with the power of her universe-fueled breath and into the tanker-sized mitts of Handaneus, God Of Palms. Quickly bringing the edges of Cling’s garment together with one hand, Hand (to his friends) created so much friction that the dungs (to their friends) caught fire and immediately evaporated in the expanse between what palm rewards know to be the fate and fame lines of Hand’s enormous, well, hands. Smoke from the destroyed pants filled the universe and rained down on black holes for centuries to come. “Hey,” said Cling. “You didn’t say by my hand,” answered Laund. Here’s the point: This exact scene played out tonight at the Glendale Tap. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was won by Queen Bees whose team member sang a Tina Turner song. No one could compete and no one did. You too can be “simply the best” if no one will challenge you. Free drinks all around (for that one team).
In third place tonight was Foxymoron with 54 points. In second was Rob’s Angels with 61 points. And dominating the night was Queen Bees with 72 points. Come back next week for more King Trivia Fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 72 | 9 | 1.000 |
| 2 | Rob’s Angels | 61 | 8 | 0.889 | |
| 3 | Foxymoron | 54 | 7 | 0.778 | |
| 4 | lasorteds or die | 49 | 6 | 0.667 | |
| 5 | Boogie Down | 44 | 5 | 0.556 | |
| 6 | Mama’s Boyz | 37 | 4 | 0.444 | |
| 7 | 135457 | Cheese knees | 35 | 3 | 0.333 |
| 8 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 33 | 2 | 0.222 |
| 9 | 156314 | Tiki Beaches | 31 | 1 | 0.111 |
| 10 | Win, place, show | 17 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Jaialainea, Goddess Of Jai Alai, was at match point with Barrelaneus, God Of Barrels, at the One Millionth Annual God-Awful Jai Alai Tournament, she really thought she’d win. But right before her match-winning serve, she was reminded of something she’d forgotten: that for the last point, Barrel (to his friends) was allowed (by ancient ruling) to remove the barrel he was wearing for a uniform, flip it on its side, stand atop it and deliver a fiery oratory about the evils of unevenly matched cosmic sporting events. And this event was, indeed, unevenly matched: Jai (to her friends) had been so throttling her competition that the only thing Barrel had to look forward to was his speech at the end. And here he was: standing aloft on his court, with one finger stabbed into the air, yelling: “I say we end all sports in which I lose! I mean, do you know what this does to the reputation of a god when he loses jai alai like this? I’m getting thrashed up here.” At this, Jai wound up, swirled her good arm and sent the ball at about twenty-five thousand miles an hour into Barrel’s bum. The sound it made? As he toppled to the floor in his underwear? “THRASH!” Here’s the point: Tonight at the Glendale Tap was not unlike this scene. Let’s talk:
The Drinking Round was an Animal-Off: the best impression of any of the eight animals from round 2 would win free drinks. Win Place Show did a sitting duck and won. Free drinks for two!
In third place tonight was The Clara’s Voyants at 70 points. In second was Rob’s Angels at 76. And destroying the night was Click Here To Join Hegseth Group Chat with 81 points. Join us next week and every week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 155754 | Click Here to Join Hegseth Group Chat | 81 | 12 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 134280 | Rob’s Angels | 76 | 11 | 0.917 |
| 3 | The Clara’s Voyants | 70 | 10 | 0.833 | |
| 4 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 61 | 9 | 0.750 | |
| 5 | 155759 | Birdnest | 52 | 8 | 0.667 |
| 6 | 155771 | Stan & Steve | 46 | 6 | 0.542 |
| 6 | Win, place, show | 46 | 6 | 0.542 | |
| 8 | Foxymoron | 43 | 5 | 0.417 | |
| 9 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 42 | 4 | 0.333 |
| 10 | 155756 | Bingsu's Parents | 41 | 3 | 0.250 |
| 11 | The Dawgs | 37 | 2 | 0.167 | |
| 12 | Freakazoids | 20 | 1 | 0.083 | |
| 13 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 16 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Meatloafaneus, God Of Meat Loaf, threw his last dish onto the conveyor belt, he was all: “Well, that’s it for me!” but just then, from an armoire right behind him, Beefaneus, God Of Beef Wellingtons, screamed: “WHAT’S UP, KID!” Meat (to his friends) was all: “I knew putting that armoire in my kitchen was a mistake.” For the next ninety decades, Beef (to his friends) and Meat debated about the virtue (or lack thereof) of the green bell pepper in meatloaf. “It just sits there!” said Beef. “Without it, meatloaf looks like a geology lesson!” said Meat. In the end, both compromised and decided to make a meatloaf with yellow bell pepper instead. As a result, the Earth exploded. Here’s the point: What happened last night at the Glendale Tap on trivia night was very similar. Let’s talk:
Tonight’s Drinking Round was a Batman Off: The best impression of Batman won free drinks. Speakeasy did a re-creation of the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents and that will win me over every time! Free drinks!
In third place tonight was the aptly named Not Even Trying That Hard with 57 points. In second tonight was We Like Lichens with 59 points. And tackling the night, tying it up, and hoisting it on high like a giant trout was When In Ramen with 77 points. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at The Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 77 | 10 | 1.000 |
| 2 | we like lichens | 59 | 9 | 0.900 | |
| 3 | Not Even Trying That Hard | 57 | 8 | 0.800 | |
| 4 | Speakeasy | 51 | 7 | 0.700 | |
| 5 | 98077 | Queen Bees | 50 | 6 | 0.600 |
| 6 | 155077 | Shadow Money Wizard Gang (We Love Casting Spells) | 45 | 5 | 0.500 |
| 7 | Shorts eaters | 40 | 3 | 0.350 | |
| 7 | 154338 | Enola Gay Panic | 40 | 3 | 0.350 |
| 9 | Win, place, show | 37 | 2 | 0.200 | |
| 10 | Jill-uminati | 36 | 1 | 0.100 | |
| 11 | 143324 | Glendale Tap This!! | 37 | 0 | 0.000 |
