The Glendale Tap
4227 San Fernando RdGlendale CA 91204
- PUB QUIZ—Wednesdays @ 7:30pm
The Glendale Tap
Glendale CA 91204
QUIZ RECAP
When Spoonercus, God Of Utensils, lobbed his spork at Bill The Dragon, it was meant only as a warning shot. He had no intention to fell the fiery beast, especially in front of all those children. Brought to the Mound Of Mirth as a distraction by their schoolmaster, the kids were promised a show, not fight-to-the-death shenanigans that would surely scar them worse than Spoon’s (to his friends) spork did Bill. “Woa, easy, mate!” groaned Bill as he took the hit right in the flebscus (the anatomically correct name for a dragon’s thorax [have you ever tried to refer to a dragon’s flebscus as a thorax in front of that dragon? I wouldn’t]) and went down in a torrential cloud of dust and dirt, pelting the children with granite and sending the ones in front into the upper reaches of near-by trees. Thinking fast, Spoon dug deep into his cosmic pouch of fruity treats and jettisoned them to the children, each treat attached to a personalized spork for each kid. The dead dragon was soon forgotten as the children enjoyed their treats in relative wonder and joy. “You’re cleaning all this up,” the schoolmaster admonished Spoon. Here’s the point: Only a few things like this happened at the Glendale Tap tonight. Let’s talk.
The winner of the Drinking Round tonight was Post-Pink for doing an impression of Ron Burgundy that involved telling San Diego to go eff itself and that will win it for me anytime! Free drinks!
In third place tonight with a score of 33 points was Tava! In second with 44 points, the aforementioned Post-Pink. And taking the whole night with 58 points was Live Laugh Love! Come back next Wednesday and every Wednesday at 7:30 for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Live laugh love | 58 | 3 | 1.000 | |
| 2 | 133034 | Post-Pink | 44 | 2 | 0.667 |
| 3 | Tava | 33 | 1 | 0.333 | |
| 4 | The GT | 31 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Gromaximus, God Of Muscles, was about to do his one millionth rep for his lats, he lost count at nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and forty-three. “Damn,” said Gro (to his friends), “was that nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and thirty-three or forty-three?” Knowing only one guy would know, he summoned his friend Mathimax, God Of Numbers. Math (to his friends) was so good at numbers, he could determine exactly what number everyone living was currently on when counting. Like, simultaneously. For example: If some kid in Delaware was counting to a thousand, he knew exactly when he reached seven hundred, and, at the same time, could also detect exactly when the NASDAQ index got above thirteen thousand. He was so good at it, that you couldn’t talk to him. He was always thinking, calculating. He was constantly saying: “Not now.” But Gro knew that in a pinch his buddy would help him out with his number problem. Appearing out of a fog of integers and derivatives, Math was all: “Yeah, what’s up?” “Was I on nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and forty-three lat crunches or nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and thirty-three lat crunches?” “The first one,” answered Math, and then disappeared. Gro proceeded with his work out but then pulled a muscle at rep nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine. Math quickly came back, said: “What’s a lat crunch?” and quickly disappeared again. Here’s the point: You don’t have to worry about losing track of your team’s points at King Trivia Night at the Glendale Tap because the Quizmaster will take care of it for you! Let’s talk:
In honor of Round 2, tonight’s Drinking Round was a Stewie Griffin Off: Whoever could do the best Stewie Griffin won free drinks. I don’t know what makes for a good Stewie impression. I just know it shouldn’t include an Irish brogue. So the winner was Hefeweizguys.
In third place tonight was Team GT with 32 points. Taking second, When In Ramen with 61. And just nosing it out was Hefeweizguys with 62 points! Not to mention, THE TENSION! Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | 93847 | Hefeweizguys | 62 | 3 | 1.000 |
| 2 | 131792 | When in Ramen | 61 | 2 | 0.667 |
| 3 | Team GT | 32 | 1 | 0.333 | |
| 4 | Beans ln Toast | 14 | 0 | 0.000 |
QUIZ RECAP
When Herbasecus, God Of Shrubbery, saw that he had one hour to trim Lord Plátanos’s hedges in time for the Great Lawn Show, he knew he’d need help. So he summoned Dirtascous, God Of Leaves, to join him in a pinch. “Dirt [to his friends], I need you at Lord P.’s place ASAP. I got a bush labyrinth to trim and a large oak that needs a perm! All by one o’clock! Can you help me out?” Using his heavenly soil sleigh, a rickety brown conveyance by which he ran all his errands, Dirt landed at Herb’s (to his friends) side to lend a hand. While Herb tended to the oak’s curls, Dirt set off to sculpt a more kid-friendly labyrinth since attending the Show that afternoon would be the seventy-five children of none other than Grassias, God Of Sod. Seeing that he was never gonna finish in time before their arrival, Dirt thought fast. “Instead of trimming the walls of this maze, why don’t I just make it easier for the kids and build little grass ladders for Grass’s (to his friends) kids to climb over? I mean, isn’t that what’s missing from most mazes anyway? Ladders?” By the time Herb was done with the oak’s coif, he turned to see Dirt finishing up grass ladder number nine. “Wouldn’t that cheating?” asked Herb. “Yes!” answered Dirt. “Kids love to cheat!” Here’s the point: There is no cheating at the Glendale Tap on King Trivia Night. Let’s talk.
Tonight’s Drinking Round was a Spice Off. One person from each team went to the mic and did their best rendition of any two of the Spice Girls’ songs. Team Nicki won by being able to rap and remember words. In public. Drink up!
There was a tie-breaker tonight! For third, which is the funniest of all tie breakers! Rob’s Angels edged out Jazzcats by only two hundred thousand dollars. They took third with 54 points. In second place was When In Ramen with 57 points. And taking first with 61 points was the regally named Farty Pants. Come back next week for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap!
| Game Rank | Team # | Team Name | Score | Teams Beaten | Team Beat Average |
| 1 | Farty Pants | 61 | 7 | 1.000 | |
| 2 | 131129 | When In Ramen | 57 | 6 | 0.857 |
| 3 | Jazzcats | 54 | 4 | 0.643 | |
| 3 | Rob’s Angels | 54 | 4 | 0.643 | |
| 5 | 121724 | Divey League | 47 | 3 | 0.429 |
| 6 | 131795 | Team Nicki | 40 | 2 | 0.286 |
| 7 | bogeys | 24 | 1 | 0.143 | |
| 8 | Team GT | 23 | 0 | 0.000 |
