Five new teams joined the madness at the Lion & Crown Public House in Watter's Creek last night as the
Thursday night convocation known as King Trivia Pub Quiz assembled for their usual merriment! The
place was packed, the vibe was electric and the proceedings went through their paces like Patton went
through Normandy!
Round One stupified many but not all, as dark favorite, Blood, Bath & Beyond doubled down and grabbed
the lead right out of the gate and held it to the bitter end. Bar Guy proudly grabbed second place.
It was a long time coming for that team and the satisfaction was palpable. Resident champs the Ninja
Turtles quietly kicked butt into third place with stealth and cunning. Special mention to newbie The
Most, whose boisterous enthusiasm and knowledge of SNL players got them just outside the winner's circle.
Quizmaster Lou enjoyed a humiliating moment when calling the scores, but getting the ranking wrong,
apologizing, only to get it wrong again! (Hey, you think this is easy!?!) So the only proper thing
to do at that moment was to bonk his head against the mic. (Old school mic drop.) I'm so happy this
amused you, peeps... However, the laughs got louder when ole QM Lou announced the rankings right after
the picture round (the subject was horses) by neighing and stamping his hooves on stage. ("Ninja
Turtles and Bar Guy are tied for [neighs, stamps foot twice] place with 13 points each.")
And finally, apropos of nothing, one of the questions which mentioned the Sy Fy channel spurred a
connection for Quizmaster Lou, who had just read that day that infamous fiction writer Harlan Ellison
had died that very morning. Ellison wrote the Hugo Award winning episode of Star Trek (TOS) 'City on
the Edge of Forever' and the notable 'Soldier' episode of the original Outer Limits series. While the
thought seemed to come from the ether, calling for a toast to Harlan's memory seemed correct. So many
glasses were raised.
This week's parting shot comes from Harlan himself: "If you make people think they're thinking, they'll
love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you."
Have a nice weekend, everyone. Until next week, I remain, yours...
Quizmaster Lou can always tell when the questions are too easy. The number of Double-or-Nothings goes up. Out of eleven teams, nine Double-or-Nothing'd in Round One. All but one got it. Five DoN'd in
the Second Round. Six teams DoN'd in Round Three. Needless to say, there were some pretty high scores at the Lion & Crown last night. In the end, the Hilltoppers brought home the victory foliage with an
86 point win. Tequila Mockingbirds squawked into second place with 83 and Stealth Texas furtively acquired an 82 point third place ranking.
Quizmaster Lou apologizes to the Shredder Squad, whom he always mistakes for the Royal Flush gang. (Do you ever get that thing, where you mistakenly imprint an association incorrectly and can't seem to get it right?) Welcome to newbies Middleagers + 1 and (drum roll please), Flying Solo in the Mile High Club, who wins the evening's Dubious Honors Award for Creative Titling.
Sometimes, Quizmaster Lou looks out at the audience and sees strange and interesting metaphors taking place. Sometimes, he sees King Trivia Pub Quiz as a vast castle under siege by hordes of medieval warriors. The questions are like boulders, launched from trebuchets, sent into the ranks of the assailants. The seige towers and scaling ladders of the combatants are the quiz pages, turned into
the Quizmaster like flights of arrows. The competing teams are groups of knights, encamped around the walls of the castle. After a long day's hard fought battle, the weary soldiers gather to drink mead and
feast upon whatever game animal is roasting on the spit of their campfire, the flickering flames illuminating their individual banners hung above their tents... And other times, Quizmaster Lou looks
out... And doesn't see that.
Tonight's parting shot comes to us from Marie Antoinette. On her way to the guillotine, she accidentally stepped on the toe of her executioner. Her last words: "Pardonnez-moi, Monsieur." In
life, we cannot always win. Sometimes we lose and sometimes we lose big. The only control we have in life is the manner in which we do it. It may be better to be remembered as having gone out with a
touch of civilized style and dignity than to indulge in our baser, courser emotions.
Today's Recap will be presented in the form of a Menu on stage. The role of the waiter will be played by John Cleese. The role of the patron will be played by James Stewart. Our scene opens in the quaint
confines of the Lion & Crown Public House in Allen, Texas...
A PATRON WALKS IN. A WAITER COMES TO GREET HIM.
WAITER: Greetings, sir. Welcome to the L and C. That is, the Lion and Crown. Hah ha. We call it the L and C as sort of, sort of an abbreviation. Well, the owner doesn't mind and it's rather sort of a short hand so that, um... So that we don't all get wrapped up in the minutia of talking about the pub. Which is to say, it's alright to talk about the pub. Nothing wrong with talking about the pub. It's just that
most customers don't come in to talk about the pub. They come in for food and drink. Rather than talk about the pub. Because, um, brevity is the soul, etcetera, etcetera. Eh wot?
PATRON: Waahl, I, I, I'd like to see a menu, please.
THE WAITER CLAPS HIS HANDS AND A GIGANTIC MENU DESCENDS FROM THE RAFTERS. THE PRINT IS LARGE ENOUGH FOR THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE TO READ IT:
FOOD
Beer Logic
Pickles on a Plate
Grilled Cheese
QuizKnows
Scott's Totts
FIGHT
Ninja Turtles
Blood, Bath & Beyond (+ IFFY!)
Ship It!
Stealth Texas
PHILOSOPHY
Bloomington
Int'l House of Bad Decisions
Rockafellers
Snowmen
PATRON PUTS ON HIS EYE GLASSES AND SCANS THE MENU.
PATRON: Ummm, do, do, do you have anything like a shepard's pie or some fish and chips?
THE MENU ASCENDS QUICKLY BACK UP INTO THE RAFTERS. THE WAITER STIFFENS SUDDENLY, HIS BODY GOING
COMPLETELY RIGID. HE SMILES A FORCED SMILE.
WAITER: Let me see what chef can do. I'll be right back.
HE LIFTS HIS NOSE IN THE AIR IN A HAUGHTY MANNER, SPINS ON HIS HEEL TOWARDS THE KITCHEN AND MUTTERS.
WAITER: The nerve of some people.
